08.45hrs and looking at low cloud in the valley from Denholme to Bradford

06.45 Tueday we are all up, Julie is going out with the girls and the osses whilst I am going out exploring with Barry on our own osses! He is also awoken at the same time by the baying bitch (pet dog) Heather! Its all going to plan so far. I have the first tea of the day before putting on my winter continance suit, zipping myself in I shuffle onto the new Goldwing MISTRESS MABLE. Onto the M180 for a mile then M18 north for a few more then onto the M62. Just after Ferrybridge I tag onto the end of a long crawl of Monday Friday plebs westwards as they shuffle up the corridor at 20mph a mirade of congestion awaits us at the Normanton turn off, through the Wakefield exit and again at the Bradford exit. How do they do it every day? It takes me twice as long to get to the A606 exit. “They” are putting a different kind of central reservation in for reasons beyond me, all it seems to be doing is crushing the working man!

I turn off at the 606 and hook a left to fly up towards Queensferry and Denholme, the wet roads begin to dry, the grey turns quickley to a bright piercing cold blue, I wriggle through Keighley, zooming effortlessly along the Skipton bypass to meet Barry fifteen minutes after our meet time of nine. We munch on breakfast and drink hot tea discussing the journey today whilst considering the conditions, I think a lot of bikers are going to get caught out in spring on our bombed out ripped up roads, we seem to be slowly falling below eastern european road standards and this year they have suffered more than usual. So mind yourselves out there boys and girls on your first rideouts! We decide  go easy and suck it and see.

 We left Skipton on the A65 turning off at Settle riding up through Horton-in-Ribblesdale Selside etc. we re-adjusted a couple of times as some small roads were covered in frost and not worth the chance, the sun prevented by high walls and trees from doing its morning ritual.
We stopped for photos a few times, it really is quite spectacular at this time of year, clear air seemed to make things more crisp and clear, the tops had a spinkle of snow, Pen-y-Ghent, Craghill and Ingleborough Hill to name just a few. Sheep were plentiful in some fields even new born were dotted here and there.

 Today we saw a couple of Buzzard busy in the sky clashing with battle hardened noisy crows, our speed was well down from our normal explority speeds, shadows on the roads meant frost, whilst wet sections hid holes and offered a free slide! on the dry bits we had lots of loose gravel to contend with and plenty of mud runs as farmers on tractors dumped bucket loads of sludge at field entries. The odds where stacked up against us today for sure!

The day of the first rideout would see most of these hazards gone as it will be warmer, we plan to set of later in the day and the winter “slitheryness” will have been absorbed by dryer conditions and Sunday drivers.

Barry’s sun jig did the trick!

We entered Lancashire somewhere along The Trough of Bowland. We were enjoying the twists and turns of the solitary grey road, we were obviously a bit rusty as we got some entries and exits wrong. I chuckled as Barry buggered about occasionaly on the odd bend, such was the conditions that both our front ends twitched here and there. No doubt the bum cheeks clenched once or twice too!! All the same we were really enjoying the day.
We came down from the moor land overlooking Heysham and made our way to the sea stopping at Morcambe for an hour on the sea front, we admired the far away snowy peaks in The Lake District National Park away over Morcambe Bay.

The ride back towards Kirkby Lonsdale was a bit swifter as the sun got to every nook and cranny of this class A road, we passed quickly through unfamiliar towns and villages before shutting down again at “the bridge” we took our turn to buy hot sausage and bacon sarnies and mugs of tea as Pete arrived on his Ying ting ting ting sounding MZ, Barry strolled over to take the rise, I followed and nodded “hello” I knew a little of his present TV character and had met the man once or twice in the showroom, I found him down to earth, funny and really easy to chat with. We bade farewel and set off for Keighley and a last tea at the Wanderers clubhouse. We now opened the firewalls on the twisting smooth A65. This was often travelled by us especially at the end of days out like today and where able to run away with ouselves for a few miles.

 We began to get into the groove and cruised fast and close. Its a rare treat when you can ride fast with someone you can trust totally and have absolute confidance in, I’d like to balance the above by saying I believe in the old maxim  ”There is a time and a place for everything”  So naturally I don’t advocate doing everything all of the time!

 Morecombe sea front

A farmer did pull across our bows just a few minutes later in his clapped out red van and we adjusted acordingly, a cute reminder I thought of the cretins that travel the roads with us! Today this happened just twice. We scorched along the Skipton bypass before the evening rush hour clogged it up (why do they call it so when it isnt?) At the clubhouse we had the last cup of the day and I found the chokki biscuits as usual, Heather looked on in hope.

Morecombes famous son

I never feed her so I don’t really understand why she always looks so dissapointed at me.
Soon it was time to go and I wolfed the last bikki down to Heathers dismay..again!  Barry waived me off, I rode along the tops of Cullingworth glancing down to my left at Keighley, I returned via Denholme etc and joined the same plebs now going home on the M62 only now they went quite a bit faster…if you can call 60mph faster! I landed home at 18.30hrs as the last red of the evening sky was swallowed, to be met by wife Julie and a purring pussy…… Perfik!

This was the first time I had ventured over this part of our great Island and I have to say the  0.700hrs trudge with the plebs  up through the M62 corridor in the wet and semi darkness was very well worth the effort I thought as I sat on Morecombe sea front looking in silent awe of the mountains in the distance with just the sea between us. The view from Denholme on first picture was the first of many breathtaking scenes of the day. I can’t wait until April when you lot come with us!

 Tilateronthen.
                      THE SCRIBE

Ready for part 1 of the adventure

The ride was cold with driving rain along the M62 but the snow seemed to have cleared away from the roads, especially over the tops near Mountain for that I was thankful, I thought I may have to go “The Long Way Round” via Bradford. I saw two large Pajero’s outside the clubhouse as I arrived, I was so cold that I couldn’t swear back properly at Barry! I got out of my wet clothes and into some dry warmer clothes and drank a cup or two of hot coffee. “Oi, where is the b-b-bloody bacon sarni then?”
Mali was speaking on the PC via the skype connection to wifey at the other clubhouse in Bulgaria, I nudged him winking and waved and shouted “Hi” to Janice on the ‘puter then grabbed my coffee and went through last minute questions with Barry in the other room leaving Mali and Janice to talk.
It was time to go! Mali was to leave early in his vehicle calling at family before meeting us at Ferrybridge services on the M62 about an hour away from Hull and then onto the overnight ferry. Barry and I had more coffee waited for our take off time, we had a rough plan for the road trip, it was a fluid one, the only rigidity was the ferry time out and the flight time back, otherwise Europe was our oyster for a week! Russ came up to wave us off as he was in the area, he had some good news for us that took us nicely to our start time.
DAY 1. KEIGHLEY TO ROTTERDAM….343 miles
“Biggles”  turned the key and the 18 year old diesel coughed soundly into life, I’ve never seen so many knobs in a car (not including us two!) We were loaded to the gills with toilets for Barry’s new house. We had coffee, tea, sugar which were stashed in my galley in the foot well behind the pilots seat, the milks were to be purloined from the first tea stop we came to as would the electric kettle, we had more electric plug points in here than a Barratt’s show house. We took a few “just in case items”  a new shiny red shovel, tow rope, window wash by the gallon, spare anti freeze,  a jerrycan, spanners, sockets, wrenches a big hammer,  a packet of Rennies for me some Gaviscon for him and yet more bloody spanners. Barry says we probably weigh over two tons! Our two grab bags fit nicely in the gaps left, we had gone over the check list several times, we felt sure we had everything and felt confident we would overcome any eventuality.
Both our furry hats sat on the back seat, we would use them in the days ahead along with gloves, combat boots new shreddies and lined winter pants, goggles and my black wooley commando hat snuggled with my two cameras on top of the log book along with all the maps, there would be no room for loud shirts and fancy trews on this adventure. He looked at me and said “Are you ready then Alginon?” “Yes Biggles, lets jolly well bugger orf” I replied, the anchor was pulled in and we picked our way through parked cars down the hill into and through Keighley settling on a south easterly direction to pick up the east bound M62 and the first stop at Ferrybridge to meet up with Mali, our third travel companion in his equally old crate.
Two hours later and he STILL hadn’t shown. Where the hell was he? We checked our timepieces for the umpteenth time. They say that time waits for no man, they were right, we had run out of it and had to make tracks. Mali had no phone, his Bulgarian phone didn’t work over here. He had the walkie talkie but was useless at this distance. So we just had to keep the faith and wait for him to contact us. Reluctantly we pulled onto the M62.
Just down the road Mali rang with news of a slight hiccup, he said it was no problem really he was at a garage at Dewsbury but would make it for the ferry. Thoughts of hospitals and such stuff evaporated instantly! At Hull docks Mali rang again this time with gloomy news, the garage could not fix the heater problem, and had broken the thermostat cover when putting it back together again!  They were working to fix it with a bonding agent, the part was cast metal so fingers were crossed that the fix would work. Normally this would not be a huge problem but today was not normal, Mali was in transit to his home in Bulgaria 1500 miles away and was booked on the overnight ferry… in an hour or two. The door was closing fast in front of Mali
We had a discussion as to the available options, we got the maps out on the floor of the ferry terminal. Barry rang the garage again and asked Mali for an update… it wasn’t looking good, the part could not be fixed so a replacement was required but this had to be bought from a dealer near York and wouldn’t be fitted until at least the next morning! It was hard to take in at first, Barry’s mind was racing, I was slowing down thinking well he’s f****d for today let’s sit back a minute and look at the alternatives. He could follow us the following nights ferry and we could wait for him somewhere, preferably before entering Slovenia or he could drive down to Dover and drive east through France sometime tomorrow. He had Maps and was well able to do it.
On the ferry later that evening, Mali rang again to say he would probably head over to France from Dover In the morning  go through France to intersect our planned route hopefully somewhere in Germany, he would ring again in the morning with another update. It was a bit depressing we were powerless to help except to talk routes and to remind him to get a working mobile phone for tomorrow and give himself a  kicking for tinkering with the heater! Oh WHY didn’t he just leave the damn heater alone? Sods law had conspired against us, the simplest of jobs had been given to an unsupervised ham fisted apprentice who broke the part, who didn’t have a replacement, the nearest one near York, this lost him his ferry ticket and refund as it was a last minute cancellation and was going to put him about 24 hrs behind us at least! On the plus side, it would be a cheaper round at the bar tonight (it’s not the money) Mali knew his way around Europe to get home no problem at all. He wouldn’t be lost, just on his own. We mulled over where in Europe we might wait for him. The adventure would not unravel, we wouldn’t let it!
We had one or two stiff drinks at the bar and shook our heads in disbelief, settling down to listen to the crap singer in the stern bar for an hour or two. The crossing was a bit rough and sleep didn’t come to me easy, what would tomorrow bring for him I wondered as I finally drifted off to sleep. Barry meanwhile was breathing hard in the opposite bunk, he was in a deep sleep I hoped.

DAY 2 ROTTERDAM to KEMPTON in SOUTHERN GERMANY…..501 miles
Breakfast was enjoyed in a lighter mood as we neared the continent, later we stood outside on the after deck picking out the Dutch coastline in the pre dawn light, it was quite fresh and damned windy, if one stood at the railings it fair blew the skin from ones body, years ago it would have made a mess of my hair but not these days alas!

An hour later and we were driving down the ramp and introducing ourselves to the young Dutch policeman, he listened as I ticked off where we were going, “Good luck and have a good trip sir” he said, Barry clicked our Sat Nav on to assist our passage. To hear her mispronounce the long sounding road names made us laugh out loud and made us feel superior in spite of her 24/7 demands

It is such a huge port area here at Rotterdam and goes on for miles alongside the auto route, refineries to the left and right, the sun was breaking through, It was Saturday the truckers were not in abundance thankfully, our 2 ton crate was not exactly the nippiest of things! I saw white powder here and there in the huge flat fields, it had been snowing but not much. We droned east towards The Ruhr in Germany, our spirits were up high, we were on the continent “The Tinkerers” drama felt less negative this morning as I imagined the dastardly apprentice auto mechanic swinging gently from the gallows in the morning light in Dewsbury..The little Bastard!!…My vivid imagination made me feel so much better. We settled down to the short hop across Holland and prepared to tangle with the aggressive German black cars, we see them every year but they still take some getting used to.
I got myself set up with the map to plot our route and keep an ear out for what Sat Nav was telling Barry to do. The swine has a tendency to “throw a curve” now and again, as the next two new bridges proved and she tried to send us into Rotterdam. She comes this way every year why can’t she remember like us men can?
We passed through Holland after about 120 miles still heading in the direction of Dussledorf and The Ruhr before swinging south on a new heading towards Cologne, then south east again for Koblenz and Mannheim going south underneath Frankfurt this time. The sun was gone now we could still see light snow on the fields here and there, the roads were dry and clear. We pulled into a service station after two hours for a leg stretch when Mali contacted us, they were struggling to make the bond work so would have to fit a new part after all. He was going to head for Dover and hoped to get on the midnight ferry, he would use his long distance lorry driving experiences to catch up, he was still a long way off, we talked about meeting up somewhere in Austria along our route, that was depending on how quickly the new part was fitted, we remained optimistic. We put his predicament from our minds for now until our next prearranged “sitrep” Settling down to a faultless drive on the German auto bahns, we were beaten up often by the dreaded “fast black ones” We kept a steady 70 mph all the way due to our two ton weight and 18yr old crate so when one after another the blacks roared past we both let out an involuntary yell “FOOOOK ME!”  Getting overtaken whilst doing 90mph on the bike is bad enough but our slow speed of 70mph made us feel so much more aggressive, it happens with such a rush and roar that the expletives came thick and fast as we are frightened shitless for a second. Barry said “F**k me that f****er came up my a*se from f******g nowhere!” It’s always the same on the first days in Germany. We were laughing and shaking our heads, they were coming up so quickly from so far back that to see them coming was very difficult.
It was time for a brew so I slipped quickly from the navigators position through into the galley (back seat) but not before kneeing our crate out of Barry’s selected drive. Whoops! I must remember not to touch that gear stick thing …..I only did it twice more after that! This was our second German kettle as the first one proved to be kaput, Ha! So much for their famous efficiency “Deutch Der Spring Tic Technics” my arse!!! It took 40 minutes to brew a full kettle, we had more multi sockets on board than in a students bedsit. There were more knobs sockets and switches in our crate I couldn’t help but be impressed, no batteries required in this baby! The PG when it came was like necter and Barry did the Bisto sound, I on the other hand went European and had black coffee an lots of zukker. Oh yes this was the life!
All afternoon we droned on through Germany, the white stuff stayed with us all the way, it seemed all Germany had a dose of snow, sometimes it looked like it had been quite deep but by now of course it had all been cleared from the roads. The turn off for Kempton came at about 18.00 hrs and we stopped whilst Barry punched the Sat Nav… “FIND MY HOTEL YOU BITCH” It helps to  assert ones authority over these things before they do the same back, right? Having gone left, left, right, right, right we landed at our digs for the night www.hirsch-kepmton.de as the last grains of daylight went. This was a clean well run overnight stop and one we will use on our bikes in June as a stopover on our way to ITALY in June. We are combining this adventure with a “recce” for a possible 2011 tour.  Even though you APPY WANDERERS are not here you are still in our thoughts! We had dinner and a few drinks here in the busy Italian restaurant before retiring early to bed. Mali rang about midnight with a new update, he was finally on the Dover ferry and would hit France by 01.30hrs. He intends to head east to intersect the planned route then play catch up. We would speak again mid morning to work out a plan, with that T1 and T2 rolled over and returned to deep slumber. We would like to point out at this moment in time that we had SINGLE beds, we only share the days together and not the nights!

The ANTICA hotel, Kempton

Day 3…KEMPTON to MALTA in AUSTRIA….approx 281 MILES.
There had been a large snow shower during the night and the town was being swept early by two or three snow ploughs, those small boxy one seater municipal street sweeper vehicles cruised up and down keeping the roads open, whilst out in the rural parts they used those high waisted Unimog 4X4 trucks to keep country life flowing, we followed one such vehicle for a few miles until we, we slid only once before getting back on the auto route, still heading south towards Austria. Another update with Mali was forthcoming we noted his progress and decided to dawdle to let him catch up quicker, so in a while we would take in some back roads and have lunch in Berchtesgaden. This had been a holiday destination for many Wanderers since 2005, we wanted to see the progress of the hole in the town centre, the heart had been ripped out of the place when the old hotel and shops where torn down last year so we took the chance to check on progress. The mountains were in view to us now as the clock ticked past the hour of eight, snow draped along the sun kissed ridges and peaks, it looked fabulous, the temperature was down to about -5 and seemed even lower when I persisted in sticking my head out of the sun roof to take a photo or two. We passed the glass factory and the lovely fast curve where Mr Lovel had a “moment” with a big blue forty ton chrystal glass laden M.A.N truck, and threatened to turn “The Purple Pussy” into the biggest chrystal pink jigsaw this side of Christendom! I’m still giggling at the memory and no doubt he will be when he reads this, well done that was my high spot of 2009.
Our twisting road wound its way through narrow gaps in the mountains and followed the river; we came across an amazing sight on the rock face to our left, stopping the car we stepped out to stand mesmerized at huge icicles’ and great  “clods” of ice as the water had seeped through the rocks before succumbing to the big freeze, I didn’t know ice could have so many colours, white silvery shards hung amongst green, turquoise  and dirty brown examples, Barry stood amongst them to show scale when I took the photograph. We made use of the stop and struggled round the back of a hut in eight inch of snow for another minute of a different Bisto moment! We thought it a good idea if I stood up in the galley and photographed the scenes through the “turret” I lasted about a minute, it was sooo cold, I dropped back down with red ears. I wrapped my head in extra fur, applied goggles and popped back up again, at some point a local appeared behind us. I was pointing up high to the left and right in amazement, I bet he thought I was doing Hitler impressions, but I can say with hand on heart I really was pointing around in amazement. I stayed up as we followed the river all the way to the town. It was raining slightly as we stopped and had a light snack at the friendly kebab house. We strolled down to the precint to find the new hotel growing from the big hole, it is going to be one of those “Well being” spa hotels according to the posters we saw last year. A few outlets were already open for business, the hotel and the other outlets looked to be on course for its summer opening in 2010.
We strolled around for an hour or so when at 12.30 we rang Mali again for a progress report, he was nearly at Munich now. “Barry, he is just three inches behind now! Using the map I figured he was just over two hrs away at his speed of 70mph, his vehicle was identical to ours so we knew this to be a fair assumption, we left wet Berchtesgaden and made for the auto route which lay about forty minutes away, we said we would make contact again in two hrs. We chose our route without needing Sat Nav, these roads were familiar, we drove down the hill to the lights and left along the bypass half a mile to a small road on the right just after the 1944 guard post hut and the salt mine then up over the tops towards the Panoramic Strasse, turning left towards the town below. Snow and mist stuck to us as we slowly wound down the blind side of the mountain into Hallein driving past the large multi stores where some Appy Wonderers had us pull over in 2009 whilst they went in search for travel kettles.
We soon joined the route south again and I checked the maps and decided Mali was only about ninety minutes behind us on the auto route. The cloud was replaced by a thick grey blanket that dumped heavy snow on us, the lanes merged into one white track, we began to climb again we saw the huge snow ploughs that worked in pairs, one on the outside lane, the other a hundred metres away on the inside lane they were big orange industrious vehicles with lights flashing to front and rear, each truck had a huge plough to the front and another that run down the length of the body that  slightly angled out so forming a single right angle(ish) plough, the lead truck pushed the snow into the path of the second and he pushed it away to the side. But still snow began to build up on the tarmac as we settled to 40 mph. The occasional local still went like a bat out of hell around us! I got the impression that owning a 4×4 to some folk means they are invincible. We pulled over after a while at the services and sent Mali a text of our position, we also called him to double check then we settled in to wait the return of “The Tinkerer” The snow let the sun appear, it lit up the surrounding mountains just a few minutes before dropping out of sight as dusk closed over us. We walked around a bit, looked in the shop and had a coffee when the walkie talkie crackled into life

five minutes later than his projected estimated ETA. I kid you not folks it was that close! Minutes later “The Tinkerer” pulled into the services, we waved and shouted insults in the usual juvenile way when men get together!
Mali shuffled out of the frozen interior of his crate wrapped in three pairs of undies, all his socks, big coat and blue thick wool hunters cap with ear flaps tied down his hands stiff with cold inside huge bikers gloves, the poor man could hardy swear back he was so cold! It was good to see him, “The Tinkerer” really was just a couple of inches away! We took him inside for coffee and a warm, he proceeded to tell us his story in detail regarding the garage in Dewsbury, a simple quick job had turned to “kack” For that, we thank you Mr Singh and your young apprentice! Another incident befell Mali, as he trundled through Austria when two of their finest police officers pulled him over for a check!
They were plain clothed and rode in a huge shiny black, maybe it was his Irish plates, maybe it was his unusual attire that caught their attention? Here is how the “tug” went……..
“Papers pleeze Danke, ver are you going and vot haf you got in ze back Mein Herr?
I’m g-g-oing home to B-Bulgaria and thats k-k-kids clothes, f-f-food and b-baby sss-stuff”
The second officer must have become suspicious of Malis physical state because he then said
“OK, you vill  take it all out pleeze, ve haf to have a butchers hook”
One unterofficer looked in every box then went through the babies clothes, Mali couldn’t help but mutter
“You won’t find anything in there to fit you mate”
“Vot?”
They are all CHILDRENS clothes in there, the officer still did a hand sweep of all the boxes.
“Vot is all zis food for Mein Herr?”
“ I’m meeting my mates up the road and we are going to have a barbi”…
“Vot?”
“Yes, we always do it”
“Vot are ze ski’s for Mein Herr?
“They are not ski’s it’s a fold down baby cot that rocks on rails”
The policeman said something about all Englishmen being mad, they eventually sent Mali on his way. Courteous and polite they were but just not needed today! Perhaps it was fortunate that me and Barry took the back road today, or that could have been us and I might be scribing this from zer clink!!  It was a humorous story but wasn’t at the time for Mali, who had now earned a new nickname, he is  “Lucky Lacy”….because he isn’t!

Dusk had firmly set in as we hit the road in convoy for the first time, I folded another map page over as we pressed on south east now, we kept in contact by walkie talkie talking away like lost pals.  The village of Malta near Bad Gastein was our destination, we had met the English folk of our next hotel at the recent NEC bike show and had booked two nights here. We spoke to the lady of the house and used her directions to the hotel, but we just missed the turning in the blackness, we had put Sat Nav to bed.
Malta was a small village we figured the hotel would be easy to locate and Barry had Roslyn on the end of his phone, Sods Law pops his head up again and we head of into the hills, the road turned to a thick snow track we couldn’t see lights anywhere. Barry rings again “You don’t want to be right up there dear! Come back to the village and look for the church on your left, we are right behind it” Look for the CHURCH. She says! But we are sat in blackness up strange mountains. “How the F*** am I going to see a church in this  bleedin pitch black Barry?” (I was getting tired by now… can you tell?) We drove back down to the village and stared hard into the darkness. “THERE” we both said we could just see the steeple fifty yards away from the street lights. John and Roslyn were on the door waiting for us as both Pajero’s  pulled up at www.hochalmspitze.com John provided drinks as Roslyn showed us to our room over the road, the restaurant is in one building whilst the bedrooms are just across the road. We had thought about having an extra day here earlier as a break for the two drivers, and maybe a peek at THE GROSSGLOCKNER just a short hop away but now the extra day meant Barry and Mali could sort out the heater problem. John and Roslyn were really nice, friendly, helpful and  enthusiastic, Roslyn had only recently embraced motorcycles and loved it then took the plunge with this biker friendly venue. John was an ex garage owner and able mechanic, he knew Citrons inside out, he proved to be an excellent help to the guys, offering extra special sockets, a blowtorch and coffees….and of course a red milk crate for Mali.

Day 4 and 5 at MALTA ………”The Tinkerers” day.
After breakfast, Mali opened the bonnet and climbed in to have a good look, Barry leant over and joined him. I stood around looking at the mountains all around us, John came out to see what we were doing. Barry and Mali decided to try and put right what was not. At about 13.30 hrs they had done what they could. Proving their work though was more difficult, trying to run the engine up to a high enough temperature that would activate the fans just wouldn’t happen it was too cold. So we decided to drive down into nearby Gmund for lunch and see if anything happened. Lunch was had but still nothing happened so we went back up into the mountains.We retraced the route from last night and saw beautiful sights especially the ice formations and the frozen waterfalls, higher and higher we climbed, still nothing happened with Malis fan but at least it wasn’t loosing water, so we agreed to bash on in the morning on the auto route into Slovenia. We turned around returning down to the hotel going slowly admiring the stunning views and stopping often to take photographs. That night we sat chatting on our own in the hotel bar where we had

dinner and drinks and generally chewed the fat until midnight. I felt optimistic and we all felt happier now Mali was with us, at least if he had problems we could help.

DAY 6 …..AUSTRIA-SLOVENIA-CROATIA-SERBIA-BULGARIA ….790 miles
07.00hrs and we were all awake and down for breakfast, we had a special full English breakfast as advertised in the menu, here in winter the menu is not in English, they bring that one out in the Spring and I have to say it looks very good! 08.00 found us paid up and driving away from the hotel waving goodbye to John and Roslyn, it was beginning to get light as we climbed up to the stilted auto route hundreds of feet above, a string of low mist clouds formed and clutched at the nearby mountain side we climbed to the same altitude we gathered speed on the wet road heading to the Slovenia border just an hour away. Both vehicles sounded OK, ours was just that bit louder probably because our fan was working!

This was pointed out to Mali in his fridge a hundred metres behind. A short answer was his reply! I sat looking at the mountain tops through the light wispy cloud, soon we began to climb above this and the clear blue sky looked perfect, we could feel the suns heat on our faces as it burst through the windscreen yet the temp showed only -4.
Pretty soon the Austria/Slovenia border came up, we stopped showed passports and pressed on…to the toll booth to pay our passage. I think it was just 6.50 euro for the whole run through to the Croatia border 120 miles away. We got the “vinagrette” too for another 6 or 7 euro’s. I think it’s pronounced vin-yeta but I/we Brits have a way of making their words fit our own tongue! I remember for example the first time I saw Clermont Ferrand on the French road signs I pronounced it “Clement Froid” and have known it as such ever since! In some countries you have to pay to drive on their roads, this is not a huge amount (except for Switzerland) The duration of validity of the toll varies in each country, plus you get the cute little sticker that gives one a certain “cudos” when back in little old England and lets lesser mortals know that you are indeed a man of the road…or woman! Some countries just ask for a toll payment if you travel along their auto routes, France being a typical example. Don’t try and avoid paying this it WILL end up costing you dearly. I found this to my cost when I was a rebellious youth. I remember wiggling my cruiser past the automatic toll booth in Portugal thinkin “bollix to paying the toll” I thought I was a proper clever little stick until I pulled up at the manned booth 200 miles ahead, that “rebel moment” cost me over a hundred quid, I felt a right plonker I called myself some pretty awful names all day after that! So folks remember to pay up and keep your tickets, the boys in blue could ask you for them. Ok enough of that lets get back to the adventure!
A couple of hundred yards further on we saw a tunnel entrance, this was The Karawanken Tunnel It was over seven kilometres long, we saw huge fans in banks of five above us as we entered and by the end of the tunnel I had counted fifty of them. It was a marvellous piece of engineering. Work began on it in 1986 and took five years to complete, it’s partly owned by Austria. Less than a month after its opening, in late June 1991, the Slovene terminus of the tunnel and its border post were briefly seized by an armoured detachment of the Yugoslav Peoples Army during the Ten-Day War. The site witnessed brief but intense fighting, which included the ferrying of reinforcements to the Yugoslav troops by helicopter and culminated in an ineffectual airstrike by the Yugoslav air force. The border checkpoint building was heavily damaged in the crossfire.
A twisting auto route of about 120 miles length in sunny conditions followed a long mountain range and brought us to the Slovenia/Croatia border. We were briefly looked at and waved through, then again through a second barrier, we had to drive a hundred yards forward to the Croatian checkpoint where two officers asked us the usual question, “Hello, what have you got in the back?” The two Croatian officials asked, “A couple of toilets, would you like a look?” I smiled. They both just looked at me and our passports eventually saying “Your English aren’t you, why are you going to Bulgaria? After Barry’s reply They nodded their heads revealing a slight smile before nodding us towards Croatia, I guess it pays to try and smile and be perhaps a little humorous, I think we were in danger of going over the top at times though with our toilet explanations. I looked back and saw Mali had been pulled over by the two female Slovenian guards at the first barrier, we pulled over and waited, he was fifty yards away so it was difficult to hear or see what was going off.  He drove up slowly shaking his head, he forgot get a vinagrette at the last toll booth so Mali was fined over a hundred pounds!

An English Spiv!
Zagreb was to our left as we pushed on eastward it was cold and the land flattened out, it began to look a bit bleak now, the mountains lay behind us as a low gray damp cloth took over the beautiful blue stuff, the land really opened up but to be honest we couldn’t see much through the damp conditions which cut visibility to about a mile, we settled down to a fairly drab and boring 200 mile trip, it was so drab I took photos of road signs, we drove through huge open rural expanses punctuated often by clumps of small black spindly bushes, and long lines of uniformed black, grey lifeless looking tall trees that ran for miles along the road side. Not many other vehicles shared our road.
Dozens of Buzzards perched along the road on fence posts, normally I don’t see these as I’m in the front seat on the bike, I pointed some out to Barry, we both agreed for such a good looking bird they have been blessed with a poor name. Here and there stark against the bleak backdrop strutted Egrets, they are miniature stalks and are white in colour.
I tried but could see not much of anything else. I was paying attention to the motels that were at the service stations, I was not impressed by what I saw so far, they were in a very poor condition, one had several windows missing, we discussed the state of the motels and felt more and more uncomfortable at the thought of staying in one of them for the night, we remembered the motels near the Hungarian/Romanian border they too had windows missing! Maybe it was like this because we were only a few miles from the Croatia/Bosnia border the likes of BanJa Luca and Prijedor, victims of ethnic wholesale murders 15 years ago just a few miles away to the south? Or because the road simply wasn’t used much and there wasn’t need for accommodation? We thought maybe we would find a hotel in one of the  towns? I saw one ahead called SLavonski Brod but looking back now I realised it was the only town! Except for the capitol Zagreb we’d passed four hours earlier. The more we thought about it the more we didn’t feel like leaving the vehicles overnight so talked about maybe carrying on all the way to Bulgaria. I figured along with Sat Nav that we could be at our Bulgarian hotel before midnight, it was quite do-able, at the next stop a decision was reached and we would go all the way. The Croatia/Serbia border came next, there were lots of guards and officials here as we got a financial kicking, Barry was unable to secure insurance cover for Serbia .Nobody was offering cover back home in England so we had to buy it at here the border, the guards kept the documents as both Barry and Mali went to the insurance broker in the main building, I cleaning the windows and lights of the vehicles as the boys returned, the 280 mile run through Serbia had cost each vehicle £110 in insurance! “Screwed” was the only printable word that came to mind, but when they have guns AND our documents there was very little we could do, at least everybody had to pay and not just us. We drove up to the next guard post unsmiling as they double checked the documents before sending us on our way, finally we were in ugly Serbia, this too looked bleak flat and empty, the other route from the north through Romania back in 2007 seemed a more attractive route at this moment in time. I never thought I would say that as that road was unfinished and very punishing on both bikes and bodies!
Two hours later we arrived in Belgrade at rush hour, the auto route went through the middle, we couldn’t go around, there was no ring road, it was dark now as we settled in with the traffic as it shunted its way through the city and out the other side, I saw on the nearby stadium that Elton John was due to appear, “I bet he’s not bloody driving here!” I joked to Barry, the city held us up for about half an hour, the oldest rickety trucks and buses vied with us for space everyone in front swapped lanes back and forth, it was a nightmare at times. We eventually cleared the city and idiot city drivers to pulled over again on the other side to re group and have a bite to eat and look at the maps trying to judge our progress, so far we were doing quite well, after the break we felt OK about going on, at least we were clear of the city now and could get back up to 70 mph without fear of getting our nose or arse crunched. We had two hours to go before we left the auto route at Nis, then we would turn east to Bulgaria….sanctuary!
The snow had been falling for the past hour when we hooked east towards the Bulgarian border on a minor road, the snow was slowing our progress as we were forced to sit behind local traffic, the road twisted and turned and offered few passing places. at least that’s what we thought, try telling that to the truckers! One sat behind Mali and was making to overtake at any moment now. Sat Nav was still doing OK at this point until she went all dark on us then returned to say we were driving through rocks with a river and main road about a mile away to our left? I looked at the map with the torch, on Sat Nav  we began to cross the river and joined the highlighted road again, it seems we had been on an adjacent road through the rocksI I counted down the miles to Pirot then Dimitrovgrad. The border was just a few miles ahead now as the time approached 22.00 hrs. We were suddenly overtaken by that forty ton truck I thought the lights close behind belonged to Mali at first, but in the driving snow it was hard to see far, he bashed on past us through the slush and snow, the conditions made no difference to the truckers I assumed they knew these roads well or they were taking some awful risks, this happened to us a few times and we just had to grin and take it. The border into Bulgaria was very welcome, we knew we were not too far away now, Barry and Mali crabbed sidewards in 4 wheel drive up the snowy incline to the fuel station and filled with a final tank of fuel before making our way to the Sofia. Mali slipped into his Bulgarian mode and found out a big truck had overturned ahead, no surprise there then! The Sofia  ringroad lay ahead a few miles  as did a rude reminder to the conditions of the local roads over here. A fast moving truck in front suddenly braked and swerved fifty yards in front of us, we slowed to see huge shell like craters that potted the road in front. “FOOK ME! ”-CRUNCH- BANG- THUMP! “Mali look out for holes mate!” I shouted on the radio.  Mali said later all he could hear was our laughing as we bashed into the holes, it was a good job Barry put a bank of spotlights on the roof, he flicked them on infrequently to light up the darkness, sometimes when the snow was really heavy the lights couldn’t penetrate and it looked just like a huge net curtain being wafted badly on the windshield, lucky for it it abated when we hit the Somme like ring road and the lights showed the shell holes, Barry had time  to wiggle the steering enough to hit just the smaller holes, I was glad we were not on our bikes tonight! I followed our progress on the ring road by noting our heading with the on board compass, the road had deteriorated badly and was going around the city like a old threepenny bit. We turned onto a south east heading, the snow stopped and we could see the odd aircraft lights coming in low which meant the airport was in the right place and we were nearly at our turn that would take us away from the city and onto our last leg towards Lovech just about an hour away now. The sat nav had us on track but it didn’t let us know exactly where we were, it just said we were on the right road, using the map is defiantly helpful. The snow began to fall hard again. Barry found by trial and error the right combination of lights to use in the driving snow, we soon came across that truck on its side in the ditch, we had no thoughts about it, it was just noted, I think we were getting that tired, not far to go now. Mali took the lead now and found our turn off to Lovech, he struggled to see familiar waypoints in these conditions..as did the Sat Nav now, some animal suddenly jumped out and ran in front of him, it looked like a small dear but couldn’t be sure as it leaped back into the tree line. We still met trucks making haste they were really cutting the corners In front of us, it was 02.00hrs now as we came into Lovech and the hotel at last. Mali did the quick introduction, we took our keys and went to our separate rooms whilst Mali drove home the final mile. I stood looking out of the window with just my socks on and I was swaying from side to side, I couldn’t stand still, we had been on the road for nearly 800 miles in 18 hours! I remember the last time we came here the last bit took us about 15 hrs, we had come in from the north via Romania in the pitch black, that was a tough ride too. It seemed to take me ages to unwind, I lay there with the Bulgarian version of MTV on and waited for sleep to take me.

Avan and Barry

The next morning we met up in the bar for breakfast, cheese, jams and some kind of fritters with coffee, not the usual breakfast but nice all the same. Barry had presented the Hotelier Avan with a picture of my hero, we spoke in different tongues briefly he was so happy with the gift, Avan’s wife came over she was a lovely dark haired lady, we got a bit mixed up and called her Joan throughout our stay when in fact her name was Anelya! Their son Iyyav spoke good English and joined us too and we are now pals on FACEBOOK.

DAY 7 -8-9……In Lovech.
After breakfast we walked to the bank to get some local cash, the first was struggling because the PC had crashed, so we went to another, the security guard looked on as two guys in furryats drew money and said hello to everyone in the bank, they are still somewhat reserved and we took some getting used to! Later we drove up to Mali’s in the nearby hills, Janice had just got the bacon on as we arrived, it was nice to see her again, their home is just about complete now and looks great. It is so well insulated I was too warm and wanted to go back outside!
Once Oleg arrived we took a tour of the hill side and the properties including the site of the forthcoming Wanderers clubhouse, we all piled into one of the Pajero’s and drove up and down the hill, I got up through the turret again and took photos it was all so

original the only tracks seen were ours, Barry thought it fun to drive through snow laden thin branches and cover me in snow, in return I flashed the camera in his face as he was driving along!  Mali pointed out properties for sale here and there but they were under about so much snow it was hard to make out much, and a lot of imagination was required. it was the same when we came up to Barry’s place, which had been torn down ready for the rebuild, so this was very hard to visualize the progress. Except of course the old stone “Kazzi” For some reason this was still intact in one corner of the plot, maybe they have not heard of portaloos over here yet? Oleg kept laughing saying  “Barry no house” When we first met earlier in the day he introduced himself by saying “Hello Barry…you old git” Ha ha ha what a good guy he is! Mali kept pointing at the thick snow saying what was going to be here and what they would build in that corner, I thought it amusing to see all three of them nodding as Mali pointed to the snow, it really it didn’t make any sense to me at all!
The afternoon was spent slowly because we were still pretty worn out, I think more than we thought if truth be known, later a quiet meal was had that evening with Mali and Janice.
The next morning Barry went early with Mali and an interpreter to the government building to get the Pajero registered for Bulgaria, I spent the morning mooching around town, this was my third visit here so it was a familiar stroll taking pictures in the deep snow, In the -10 conditions folk were hunched up in thick clothes and sorting out their morning chores I helped one guy who slipped onto his ass, he was most surprised when I started in English, he looked a bit confused then shouted something in Bulgarian at the slippy ground and struggled on his way. Come lunchtime Barry was done and we all went for a ride to the village of Drenov where Mali and Janice first lived, It lay on the hills about 7 miles away, the route was familiar to us from that ride in the tiny yellow taxis in and out of those bloody bomb holes! These days the road to Drenov had improved greatly, meeting Hatchko and all the family again was really good, we were shown great hospitality as usual and offered the dreaded Rakia, Barry declined…I took his! We sampled their home made wine too, we had a gathering to attend in the evening so we made our excuses and managed to extricate ourselves from the house waving goodbye to Baba Stasia the lovely old lady of the house. Mali and Janice stayed a while longer.

Barry and I left them and went for a drive onto the airfield, he let me have a go with the old crate and I did some doughnuts but it was a long wheel base thing so slid forward more than spun round, it was fun. It was so cold, beautiful and white it was very quiet too on the edge of the hillside. Normally you can see the faraway Balkan mountains but today it was so white it all blurred at a few miles distance.
A couple of hours later found us at dinner, it was in a sunken tavern and we took over most of it, most of the guys tonight worked for Mali and would be working on Barry’s house this Spring, so it was a chance for Barry and the lads to get to know each other more. Meanwhile I met the ladies, to my right sat Natasha she was a Russian and wife of Valu the silver Fox, he was adorned in new Bulgarian army shirt and pants, he has promised to get me one later this year! Natasha showed me pictures of her Dad, he was a tank driver in the 1960’s in the good old USSR. She spoke little English and I spoke even less Russian but with the drinks and lots of smiles it didn’t really matter. To my left sat lovely Venita who was the wife of funny guy Oleg, she took a shine to my camera and proceeded to take dozens of pictures all evening, we cannot converse much either but we send “smilie” icons to each other on SKYPE and I send her the photos she took! When we left to walk back to the hotel it was so damn cold it hurt, I had no hat on so my head and ears were instantly frozen, I have to say I was completely sober by the time we got back, got back to join Avan at the bar of the hotel, Avan talked a lot and we nodded a lot. Iyyov came in to join us from the bowling alley upstairs, I was telling him about Natasha’s dad in the Russian army, Iyoyov said his dad was in a rocket regiment as a Captain in his youth. “Wow, has he any photos?” I asked Avan shook his head and shook his finger, “Niet Russhi” Iyoyov said his dad hated that time, they all did, I tried to make light of it, but poor Avan got quite sad so we changed the subject, I was aching to ask more but didn’t.
The next morning we took our time rising, we had a stroll around town with Mali and Janice called at the supermarket and bought supplies, in the afternoon we returned to Drenov, we had to meet young Nadka, Barry had given a birthday gift but she wasn’t around the previous day, Valu the silver Fox ushered us into his house along with Natasha, Nadka a puppy dog and several cats, it was a homely little place. Out came the Rakia, Barry again declined ..good man more for me then! Janice had a nip, as did Mali, but I went toe to toe with Valu, I was being hospitable (and stupid ) Natasha and Naka brought out plates of food warm nut parkin cake, lumps of brown chocolate that tasted like marshmallows then a plate of white chocolate lumps that tasted familiar too, orange and lemonade for Barry…and yet more Rakia for me. At some point Valu thrust a big bottle of the home brewed moonshine in my hands plus two huge plastic containers of lovely dry red wine. It was a brilliant afternoon, though it later I admit was a bit hazy, I do remember going for a swim in the hotel where Barry joined me and the five teenagers left us to it after I urged  the young lass to put MTV on the telly as we splashed around. I’m sure we had dinner but for the life of me I can’t remember where.
The next day we said goodbye to Avan and Anelya, Drenov village with Barry n Janice

I called out from my seat  I’ll be back” in Russian! All 6 foot something of Avan came up to me wagging his finger at me again only this time he was laughing. Anelya gave us both a gift, a decorated clay oven pot which now sits on the kitchen window ledge. Barry drove the Pajero to the airport on a faultless drive, except for the few miles when we couldn’t see bugger all because the wipers and water jets had frozen up! It was getting colder. (a week after our trip Janice told us it had dropped to -30) We drove up close behind a yellow bus to get some slush thrown on the screen.  At Sofia airport Barry handed the keys to Mali and Janice and we hugged goodbye, we had a wonderful time, an adventure followed by some great traditional hospitality. I keep saying I won’t come here again because it’s too far and the roads are awful, yet here I was again! Barry and Tina would return to check on the progress of their house in Spring What’s the chance that we and the bikes might be back in a year or two to share a glass or two of Rakia with old friends like Valu and Hatchko do you suppose?

Dosvedanya Comrade.
Or…….. Tilateronthen!

Wanderers Key Riding Rules!

1. When riding with the Wanderers, we ask you to ride responsibly, for your own safety and the safety of those riding with you.
2. We ask that you keep up with the man in front, and ensure the man behind knows, where you are going at all times.
3. Because of this we don’t ask our marshals to go charging down the outside of the group, which can be un-safe at times.
4. The “Group Leader” and the “Back Door Man” control the group.

Below you will find our basic guide/rules, which we use for all our ride outs, in the UK and Europe. They are their for your safety and to ensure your enjoyment of our ride out. Should you have any questions, please ask Barry or David they are there to help.

Group Riding Guide

1. Don’t be frightened of group riding, it’s enjoyable, otherwise we wouldn’t do it! Group riding is done for companionship; it should never be allowed to develop into a competition and especially not into a race.
2. You remain responsible for your own safety while riding your bike, so don’t allow group riding to encourage you to do anything which is unsafe. Listen to the Group Leader’s briefing and try to remember at least the basics of the route and the location of any planned refreshment stops; this is information you will need if you do get separated.
3. Maintain all round vigilance, as you would normally do to ride safely. Other riders in the group could be a source of risk to you as well as other traffic, so keep your eyes peeled. Frequent rear observations are particularly important. Other road users can look upon groups of riders as an irritating obstruction and they may try to overtake the group aggressively.
4. Don’t allow yourself to ride faster than you can cope with safely just to avoid losing touch or a navigational turn; getting lost is much easier, quicker and less painful to recover from than an accident. The Group Leader and his Back Door Man will be constantly in touch with each other regarding the speed, as it can vary greatly at times between first and last bike believe it or not!
5. A staggered riding formation is often used on main roads and motorways because it allows the group to ride together safely. Each rider still has a two second gap behind the bike in front of them, each rider occupies half of the lane in a staggered position. It is not necessary or desirable to ride very close to your side of the lane. It’s not advisable to use the staggered riding formation on narrow country roads or on poor roads, (especially Italian mountain roads!) it is better to pick your own line around bends. Instead leave this to the likes of ROSSI, STONER and PERDOSSA please!
6. At roundabouts or junctions it is advantageous to close up into pairs, slightly staggered so when it’s your turn to pull out you can see both ways, pulling out quickly and safely, this also allows the group to keep its cohesion.
7. Drop Off – if you find yourself immediately behind the Group Leader at a turning point on the route you might be “dropped off” to act as a marker for the turn.  The Group Leader will indicate with an outstretched arm, pointing to where he would like you to stop. You must make your own assessment of whether it is safe to stop and if so where, the Group Leader is inviting you to do so by his arm signal, not ordering you. Normally the safest place to stop is at the nearside kerb, either well back from the junction or roundabout for a left hand turn or just beyond a right hand turn, where riders approaching the turn will be able to see you across the junction or roundabout. Sometimes, at complex or obscured junctions or roundabouts, the Group Leader might drop off more than one marker.
8. Rejoining Group after Drop Off – when you stop after being dropped off at a turning point you should wait until the Back Door Man approaches, he and partner should be noticeable by different coloured bibs, their windscreen could be marked too. When you see the Back Door Man approaching prepare to move off just in front of him; he will slow down, beep the horn and/or wave to alert you.
9. If you have a bike-to-bike radio, by all means enjoy chatting during the ride if you wish (unless the Group Leader asks you not to) but don’t prevent the Group Leader exchanging safety messages with his Back Door Man.
10. Group riding on motorways requires a different approach and needs everyone to try to keep up with the bike in front; the group needs to ride at a similar pace if not faster than most other traffic in order to be able to ride defensively, to avoid being at increased risk from other motorway users (this is especially true in Germany). If you don’t feel comfortable doing the pace the Group Leader is setting on a motorway you should consider leaving the group as soon as practicable and making your own way instead. Whilst the staggered group riding is advised, you should allow other motorway users to break into the group in order to change lanes, especially in order to enter or leave the motorway.
11. Overtaking on Motorways – although it is preferred that we keep our positions in the group whilst on the motorways, we will meet vehicles that are slower than us and will need to overtake them, follow the Group Leader and overtake as you draw closer to the vehicle. On occasions there might be heavy traffic, the Back Door Man will on pull out at the same time as the Group Leader on his request, this is to make the overtake manoeuver easier. LOOK OUT for him and move quickly, he is effectively holding up the traffic momentarily for you!
12. Mobile phone - it is advisable to carry a mobile phone and have at least the Group Leader and Back Door Man’s number, don’t forget to give them yours too! You might want to put the number of your holiday travel/medical insurance firm, breakdown recovery and consulate in your phone too.
13. Breakdown – if you breakdown on the road whilst in the group, the Back Door Man should see you, alert the Group Leader and stop. If you breakdown on the motorway, the Back Door Man should see you (another important reason why you should keep up with the group). The Back Door Man will alert the Group Leader and the group will stop at the next service station or motorway turn off and contact you via mobile phone. On the 2005 tour, a Winger stopped briefly on a German motorway to wait for others but was seen and ordered by the Police to move on, he later got lost in France! We stopped at the first exit we came to until he rejoined us…. he now lives in Bulgaria… lost forever!

MOST IMPORTANTLY ENJOY YOUR RIDE!

Our main base for exploring the Scottish Highlands this weekend is the Acarsaid Hotel and Lodge (tel 0845 263 6855), nestled in the centre of Pitlochry, Scotland. This allows us easy access to all local facilites.

We have a deal on rooms at the hotel: £49 pounds per person per night, which includes full Scottish breakfast.

There are 18 double rooms available, please quote “Appy Wanderers” when booking to ensure you get our deal price,
(tel 0845 263 6855) – yes, you are booking direct with the hotel!

Check out the hotel website for directions and further details.

There are also static caravans available and motor-home parking is half a mile away at the Faskelly Caravan Park.

Contact Alister on 01796 472007, visit their website for further details, should you prefer to stay here?

All rideouts will leave from the hotel on a morning as this was the prefered base by most of our members.

Brief itinary for the weekend is:

Meet in the bar from 4.30pm on Friday 28th, the evening is your own.

Saturday 29th, ride-out to visit the great Lochs, including Loch Ness, Fort Augustus etc. This is a full days ride-out, the evening is your own. We will even have our own scaly monster riding with us (sorry Dave).

Sunday 30th, ride-out to one of the local attractions, maybe even a bit of whisky ‘tasting’. Sunday evening, a group evening meal will be organised, should everyone be agreeable with this.

Monday 31st, breakfast and farewells, as we head for home.

Hurry now and book your accomodation if you wish to join us!

Peace before the party in Keighley

“I never want to touch another drink! I bet this statement is being echoed by practically the whole population over this festive period and by a leggy blonde on particular, I Hope John has plenty of TLC to give her and that she finally got her shoes on the right way round last night!

Gangsta Tony gets whiff of a party

Men at the bar

Tina wanted to throw a Christmas party for the Appy Wanderers on December 27^th.  Sunday would see a gathering at the Wanderers clubhouse on the hill overlooking Keighley, snow was everywhere on the surrounding hills, it was crisp cold and clear, the thin grey cloud hung low and motion less, thankfully we were having a break from snowy downpours, cold air cleaned our lungs and turned warm breath into little cold clouds. The roads had cleared enough to allow cars reasonable passage. Julie and I drove the sixty odd miles from South Yorkshire in our little KA. Our new Wing still sat in the garage, had sat there eight weeks in fact, patiently waiting for the first dry days of 2010. We left the M62 and climbed higher and higher towards the clubhouse, an hour later we got there washed changed, had a drink or two and set off in the new Bulgarian Battlebus to a pub nr Leeds for a drink and a meal with a dozen wingers, it was a dry run for Tina’s party the next day …but not quite a DRY run!

Lets get the party started

08.00rs the next day found Barry and I chomping on thick bacon sarnies, as usual discussing club stuff for 2010, our Bulgarian road trip, bikes, bikes and other Wanderers trips. Time soon goes when we get our heads together. We were dispatched to the shops by the girls to get some last minute food and drink, It looked like Tina had done enough to feed Keighley, I’d done some mince pies that had myseriously mutated in the oven and now looked like bloody huge volo vons, and gave off strong vapours of brandy, Julie was putting these and her savouries with Tinas huge offerings.

Lovely ladies from Leeds

We returned presently from the shops, chucked the car keys away and grabbed a beer, Barry fired up the PC and gave Bulgaria a call, Mali and Janice joined us on screen, it was a live video feed, we could see Janice standing behind him on the screen with a drink, she was entering into the spirit of things good girl! We had minutes of banter and greetings before the first of the Wanderers arrived, we made Mali feel at home with warm cutting insults and general character deformations (who need families when we have each other!!)

 The first of 28 people began to arrive, I put my best “lizarding” shirt on and manned the door to relieve them of their beer and coats. The house soon filled up with Wanderers from the 2005.06 07 08 09 ride outs and tours, Heather the dog was going bonkers shouting at the top of her voice as yet another couple arrived, Nick the Freak arrived dressed to kill with a big bunch of flowers for Tina and sprouted a new red hairstyle, I felt like bowing and saluting he looked so smooth and dapper! Our Scooterboy brewer brought some wicked bottles of beer that tasted a bit special, men drunk it  and went silent OOOOH lovely! Tom you can come again,

Getting ready to view "The Grossglockner" disc

The clubhouse begins to fill

Three old dogs!

Little things......

 wifey Michelle brought lager and fluffy pink slippers bless! Brain bottled it with the shirt, he had put his lounge lizard shirt to begin with on but Janet wagged her finger and reminded him of his age, Brian cow tailed to her and wore summat  plain and really boring, topped off with a student scarf, so it was left just to me to look classy.  The premiere of Barry’s camera footage was rolled out and played on the huge lounge TV, it was “The Grossglockner”, we sat and watched in amazement as Barry banked and booted his Wing up and over the pass, the scenery was breathtaking, it came flooding back, folk began to recall particular corners and little incidents, this disc was played alternatively with my photo disc, I sat and enjoyed it as much as everyone even though I’d seen it a dozen times by now, it’s much better fun to sit with everyone and view it,

Michelle smiles for hubby Tom xxx

 the laughter got louder especially when C.C put in a couple of appearances here and there. Elaine and Russ turned up from Halifax, followed by Jane and Steve, they had just driven down from Scotland. It really was great to see EVERYONE, such is the pull that the Appy Wanderers has on folk!.

Greeting our pal Mali, live from Bulgaria

The back room filled as the new look APPY WANDERERS site was rolled out on the lap top and shown, Mali and Janice came back on line and was introduced to everyone, it must have been good for those two guys all that way over there to join in with us for a while!

Barry gets the food bill

Still more people arrived, Tony Walton breezed in, the knives came out some assassinating got underway, sharp wit got sharper, I fueled the debaters by passing “tinnies” around, other have tea or coffee, I think perhaps they have already reached the “I never want another drink” stage…unlike our Sharon! Insults were parried and thrown back, isn’t it odd how men insult the crap out of friends? The deeper the love the deeper the insult! Heather the dog skipped from one room to the other, nibbles were passed by more than one reveller, she was in her element, well at least she left me alone today!

Men talking serious stuff...blah, blah blah!

I don’t know how many times the discs went round but they got funnier each time, the month of toil and flustration spent in the making disappeared as everyone leaned left and right in unison to Barry’s speeding bike and giggled at the jokes and comments on my offering. The schnapps cabinet was opened and various tots were passed around puckering lips, I really am getting the taste for the stuff especially the peach kind. All too soon it was time for some to make their long journey home reuctantly folk began to drift off, Mark clung onto his pint as long as he could, his belly swelled by now, quite full from two nights celebrating.

Steve of Scotiland and Dave together again

 Chrissy kissed everyone and she “hoofed” him out of the door shouting “goodnight all” (ah ha! She was getting into wifey mode already)  Geoff and Christine followed, as did Heather and her “gangster”. Sharon was full of wine now but didn’t know it, asking people if they wanted tea of coffee…. in West Yorkshire Klingon, she was the only one that understood what she was saying, not a sway, totter or stagger in sight,just a complete lack of English coming from her lips! Near the end knew I was full of laker schnapps and stuff and wondered if I was beginning speaking Klingon because I suddenly understood what she was saying!

 Soon the house was empty silence filled the air, the TV fell silent Julie cleared up, I sat chewing the fat about more bike stuff and tours with Barry, it was after 02.30 before we turned in, I was quite sober by now, Tina had been catnapping during Barry rendition of a US bike trip, we could have gone on till dawn Im sure!

A worn out Wandererer sometime after midnight

Another worn out Wanderer!

I had a brilliant time and loved meeting up with everyone, old, older and new, it’s really nice to meet my huge bike family again especially during these bleak bike less times, roll on dry roads and longer brighter days when we can say hello to the bikes as well, so until then its…….

TILATERONTEN

                                                   THE SCRIBE

I arrived at work early on Sunday morning the 25^th of October in mild temperatures and under a light grey blanket, its dry so far, but rain has been promised by Carol of the yellow coat.  It was 07.00 or 08.00 depending if you’d remembered to move your clock. I’m not sure if Star Fleet command would approve of us buggering about with time like we do twice a year, but I do because it means I get an extra hour in bed!  I’m at the Immigration Liaison Office doing some catch up work and preparing the movement orders for the next day’s removals. It’s 10.00 hrs now and I’m wondering how the ride-out is going and how many braved the weather because Carols rain has arrived and it’s not a slight drizzle! Puddles begin to form and merge with each other as the detainees head back inside and moan about the weather.

The meeting place in Ripley early on Sunday morning

My informant tells me Barry and Tina were head of a ten bike group today “Old Geoff” and Chris sat at the back this time, in the middle were Colin Topley, Mick, Nige and Denise, Brian and Janet, Nick “The Feak”. Tony and Heather and two new couples, Bill and Lorraine from the North East and Deryck and his missus on a lovely blue goldwing. They pulled out of Ripley, I trust the whole village knew what to do now as Barry will have stood on a high rock and reminded folk in his loud voice of the route and how to ride in a group and to remind of wet weather riding, wet leaves and other such hazards. This puts to bed  some nagging thoughts and answers some questions, always a good thing to start off with everyone on the same playing field don’t you agree? So with tyre pressures correct and good sound brakes (C.C wasn’t with the group today!) everyone zipped up tight and set off after Barry and Tina in the direction of Pateley Bridge.

“Sir, Mista Shap (me) can I fax this letter to my solicitor? I cannot go back to my own country I have problems there and what about my children here?”  ”I wouldn’t bother wasting your time with the fax Akindayo…. The paperwork has been sorted and is in order, your flying back home tomorrow.”

It was drizzling and somewhat grey as Barry led off from the start point in RIPLEY with the wet ones trailing behind. Mick Gordge was hacking down the lanes in hot pursuit, his old blue bread van going like the clappers! He was calling Barry on the CB, at first Barry thought his CB was playing up and called on the back door man “Old Geoff”  who remained pretty clueless as to the noise on the CB. The noise turned out to be Mick calling from afar. “Barry Oh Barry where art thou?”….or summat like that!

 A steady approach down into Pately Bridge.

He had guessed correctly the direction the wet ones had gone and soon saw in the distance the Protestant orange 1800 wing belonging to the apprentice T.W.A.T.Say no more!

It was a careful ride up the twisting oily leaf ridden road that followed the shores of Gouthwaite Reservoir a gap or two appeared in the group as a few nerves jangled. The dog lover from Durham lost sight of the guys in front and slithered to a shaky stop, wondering if he’d took a wrong turn. Mr Topley was right behind and took him in hand (once a sailor always a sailor eh Colin?) leading him to the café at Stean Gorge for a well earned tea stop and bacon buttie.

“Right then Jacob, you and I are going to the reception office and are going to get your fingerprints taken OK? He knods at me smiling. “Yes OK he says”  ”Good O then, come with me lad, I wave him to come with me. His English not being so good a bit of animation is quite helpful”and disarming.  Jacob was a huge man from Sierra Leone with hands like shovels! Bloody hell, his will be difficult to fit onto the form properly I thought to myself,  Jacob padded in behind me smiling and clutching his ID card, “You can these prints Albert, I’ll put the kettle on” I said to my “oppo” smiling mischievously to myself.

The gang piled noisily into the café, a church service was in full swing and his flock crooned out a song or three. They sat and listened as they warmed up, ate and drank warm beverages. Sufficiently fuelled up the gang wrapped up tight bidding farewell to the flock, the Michelin extras waddled out into the elements and struggled to cock old legs over wet steeds in the car park. Not before Barry paid a visit to the portaloo. “Old Geoff” thought it might be fun to rock the bog, I’m glad Barry was only doing a No1 and not a No2, I think he has probably been watching the short videos on YOU TUBE of bored young soldiers playing pranks on each other. Being a spineless apprentice that he is, the man never went to the bog once during the rest of the rideout according to my spy! The thing is Geoff old mate, these things don’t end at the end of the day, these things gather momentum and of course retribution can take a long time. The only way back is bribery!

Geoff swings gaily by as Barry prepare to whip his apprentice into shape!

With empty bladders and full bellies “the wet ones” turned towards Lofthouse along the cold tops before passing Roundhill and Leighton Reservoirs, turning right towards Masham , turning left at the lights on the A6108, through the rain ahead they could make out Jervaulx Abbey. The puddles began to form and merge but still the gang enjoyed themselves!

A sharp left hander ahead onto another tiny road took them to Coverham and Carleton. This road is, as I remembered, tiny and sunken earth berms ran along the “road” it would be tricky if a car or worse still a tractor approached. It twisted along the edge of Coverdale as the wind got a grip of the day and fairly ragged it about. The rain and the wind began to make the conditions a little uncomfortable for people to say the least. Thankfully the road soon began to drop off the edge and out of the wind  before dropping into Kettlewell and another stop at the regular café, everyone was fleeced of their well earned money here as Mr Topley found out to his dismay! Perhaps we should resort to taking our own coffee and teas in 2010? At least they were in the dry and had plenty of room as the usual day trippers and sedate walkers vacated the café as the Appy Wanderers antics and general friendly rowdiness drove the quiet folk out!

“Boss boss that fikin china man won’t give me the black ball fikin bitch” I pointed and shouted “Xie XIE! Give me that black ball I flicked my extended open hand in a “come hither” jesture not unlike Bruce Lee did in one of his films. ( Animation helps a great deal with all these languages flying around) Xie and the other eight Chinese argued loudly, this attracted more detainees into the argument. Oh no, it’s the Chinese verses the rest AGAIN! The noise attracted more staff to the games room, after some frisking and tugging, the black ball appeared and young Egor Slavitch was able to claim it for his game, eventually some calm returned in the games room, I sat back down and carried on scanning the morning papers trying to appear calm and uninterested.

The sun threatens to show itself

After the fleecing of the Wanderers at the café people were glad to get on the move again! This time they stayed low and out of the wind for a while, at least until Barry took a left up the side of the valley in the direction of Arncliffe, this tiny road runs along the River Skirfare on the left, it’s a beautiful day if you were a predatory falcon of some kind I guess, letting the wind sweep you faster along as it hunted for prey, but alas the Goldwings are not predatory birds so don’t enjoy the conditions as much. Malham Tarn is off to the left as the wanderers come over the rise , turning left down into Malham village and some respite from the winds. The girls take advantage of a dry spell

Shortly after Malham the ride turned right to Winterburn, Hetton and into Cracoe before coming into Skipton. Mick shows of his extendable pole trick 

It was here that the days rideout ended, not quite the long day as The Appy Wanderers are used to but with the wet and windy conditions it was best to keep it an appy but short day eh folks?

We counted the last of the fifty six assorted detainees back onto Elm wing as they finished their tea, we waited for the last two lads who were helping to serve the food to return, Assan the only fat Ethiopian on planet Earth came first, his arms full of extra bread then came  Mussuya the toothless Angolan scallywag who came up grinning saying “Goodnyte boos, see yoo in morning” He told me once that he had his front two teeth pulled out as a child because it was tradition in his village, We signed for our IRC roll of 125 bodies and had it verified. Hurray we had reached the end of another day! The day staff said bye to the evening duty staff, the usual adult banter swayed back and forth as we left the building!  I changed out of uniform handed my keys and radio in at the gate. Puffing and panting the three miles home on my peddle bike was hard work in the rain and wind, I wondered what kind of day todays “Appy Wanderers” had?

Tilateronthen

PS……….Thanx very much to big Deryck and Christine Smith for the use of some of their photos. x

                                         THE SCRIBE.

Chris Nutbrown sorts his stuff.

Its 09.45 and as I arrive in Skipton I can see some Goldwings already parked up, there is a definite nip in the air this morning as folk snuggle up to hot tea and coffee, Autumn is just around the corner. It’s got the makings of a beautiful day and guess what?  Nobody has come in a car!
I see Tony Hudson and Nick the Freak stood with hands thrust firmly in trouser pockets, obviously feeling the mild chill. Nick’s pale pink 1500 on possibly its last rideout, he is trading in for 2010, his hand should be a lot better by then too, Nick will be right up there with us in 2010. These two guys are teaming up for todays effort. Quite an odd couple, a bit like Laurel and Hardy when you look at them
There are a number of Leeds troublemakers here today, Heather and Derek Thornton, Ian and Adrienne, Chris and Geoff on Tangerine Dream, did you know Geoff is officially old now? He turned 50 last week, they had purloined a new sex rug for the bike it was white with orange flecks and matched the bike nicely, good choice Chris. The Leeds ringleader Sharon eyed me up from the back, she was with her bitch…John, a right pair of smirking Abbots I must say!
Just arriving from South Yorkshire was Brian and Anne with their friends Chris and Marie all the way from Hull the “Cod head” county. Their 1500  looks very nice even if it is a breadvan, I liked the extra paint bits. Chris had a beautiful black number under him with just the right amount of bling, it’s known that I am attracted to black 1800’s!
I just love Anne’s leg warmers, they are upside down leather coat arms you know, the fluffy blonde bits at the bottom cover her petite ankles and matched her tousled blonde locks and so rounded the image off nicely.
Colin and Anne Topley were here again, she was cold and had been sitting on her hands all the way from Castleford so nipped of to get a hot drink. Colin probably thought it was quiet warm having spent his youth on the high seas with the Royal Navy.
Giggling Denise and Sir Cattle Grid were welcomed as they purred up on their Snow Princess.  As usual Nigel had his boatdeck trainers on and Denise had her snug pinkers on, in my eyes this footwear has become their trademark and always makes me smile.
The other odd couple from up Geordie way were well wrapped up and ready for the challenge, this was a youthful fit chisled Dave of Redcar and Jimbo…who was the exact opposite in looks but immense in character, he is good for everyones laughter lines, I think he is so funny and would be an asset to any party. Dave was the navigator whilst Jimbo was in charge of the steering bit at the front.
Heather gets wind of something

So this gang  of highway bandits were the treasure hunters and more importantly they were todays Appy Wanderers. Barry had arrived in the van with the barbi stuff and two good cooks…..that’s two good COOKS, Julie Sharp and Tina Walton our two long suffering wives. The clues and directions were handed out, maps books appeared and smiles and grins turned to studious deep looks and fags were lit. Puzzled,

The odd couple do the sums

Jimbo reached for his Geordie phrase book then began to nod as things made sense. Jon and Sharon Abbot sat down and pondered some cheating tactics.

Geoff looks for some pictures.

Old Geoff looked then looked a bit more but was unable to find any picture he lost interest and gave the sheets to Chris. Pep talk before the “off” at Skipton

Barry gathered folk for a quick chat and kept pointing to me and laughing, from the other side of the road I could hear some words like “trust” “Him” and “don’t”, the gang  began to cast glances in my direction, murmuring and nodding collectively. Hmmm.. I’m not sure I liked the way this was going!

Colin ponders Barrys excuse why he’s not riding today

What’s my job you ask? Well basically as it is our first attempt at a Treasure Hunt I was going to try to make sure everyone  got on the right track and was able to follow the clues.  We had figured that once they got the first few clues it would run on rails. Chris and Marie head for the first clue

I intended to observe from afar taking photos as folk meandered lost like through our stunning countryside with sheets of paper looking for clues and to try and keep Barry informed as he and the girls set up camp at the end of the hunt. I was going to help if anyone got really REALLY stuck..at least that’s what I thought until two minutes ago, I’m not too sure now though! Perhaps it would be healthier if I just stayed here in Skipton for the day?

The Geordies hit the road to nowhere!

The bikes set off at intervals toward the first clue, the sun was out now and the morning chill had gone. Barry and St Honda, the patron saint of Two Wheels and Sunshine had delivered again, providing good weather and more fab roads. Victor Meldrew and Ann hit the treasure trail

I turned towards Malham at Gargrave, soon I saw the first group of Wingers at a set of Gate Posts they were looking for flowers somewhere in the stone, Ian and Adrienne later said they counted 13 flowers, she says we put a red Herring in too by missing the second K in Kirkby Malham!  Maybe just go look at the STATLEY GATEPOSTS a hundred yards further on and just count the 4 flowers cut into the side of the posts, it’s supposed to be a fun day not a serious wartime exercise Captain Mainwarring!
At Malham everyone had dismounted and were searching for clues around the village, thankfully Elvis the pig hadn’t left the building. Nick and Tony got a cuppa and sat looking, Jimbo stood in front of Elvis but his eyes wandered over the pasties in the shelf below, a rambler eventually pointed Elvis out…just six inches in front of him!

Meet Stan and Ollie

It was here that two Wingers attempted to take me out of the equation, outside on the pavement one Golden one even turned his engine off in his attempt to quietly run me over.My bike was here earlier!
Colin and Anne were quickly collecting their answers then had a bit of a discussion on the old pack horse bridge as to the identity of one of the iron animals,

Colin sees off some vital evidence

the bird was easy, not so the squirrel which in their eyes was either a rabbit or the rare Malham long eared mouse! Colin pretended to hoof the damn think into the stream, I swear he was smiling!Elvis? what do you mean Elvis?

I left them to it as Brian, Ann, Chris and Marie arrived to join the fun.
Malham Tarn was off to my right as I climbed high and right, I stopped a few miles ahead at a cattle grid and basked in the sunshine on the hillside and waited and waited and waited, a lonely sheep eyed me up from a distance, I wished the gang would hurry up because everytime I glanced round the damn thing seemed to be edging closer to me. Maybe I should have left the “Old Spice” alone this morning?

Love on the horizon

I was saved from an uncertain togetherness with one of God’s creatures by the twinkling of distant headlights. Geoff and Chris shoo away my amourous admirer

I got up off my knees and got a few shots as they passed by eventually and I slowly followed them towards Armcliffe. I was entering killer dog territory again at the farm in the dip. Just a few days earlier on our test run the little black terrier caught sight of my flapping tails and chased me up the hillside just like he did last year! Barry was beside himself with laughter at the bottom, he was actually encouraging the dog. Only today the thing was sitting yards away in the field panting, lucky for me. No doubt we will see each other again in 2010.
Arncliffe was next on the list, I followed behind Ian as one group very nearly missed the first clue, someone spotted the pub and yelled out. I watched them from a distance, the keyword in the clue was what was Mr Miller LICENCED to sell, once you got the drift of that the rest was easy(ish) I hurried to the next village, Kilnsey and right turned to the bridge before Coniston to await the next lot and take some pictures. They had to get through the smallest gate in the world

VERY slim folk only

Chris is triumphant in her quest

go under the bridge, pick their way over boulders and tip toe through shallow waters to the centre of the bridge arch and pick up a card.  Anne and Marie tip toe to success!

Most of us are fat looking so-and-so’s in our kit so this bit proved to be amusing for all of us, a gentle cheat was a farm gate a few yards away..I have to say that most used it! Amazingly big Derek Thornton slithered through the gap, lifting his belly over the parapet, something I couldn’t do.
Leeds gangmenbers look a litle euphoric!

Big Derek performs a miracle

The Nutbrowns had a slow puncture in the front tyre of their 1500, lucky for them the bike has a compressor built in for such things so they were OK to carry on, this proves that the 1500 breadvan has two things that an 1800 doesn’t have and ought to, a compressor and huge luggage space! The slow puncture didn’t bother them coz they produced a mobile canteen from one of the tardis like sideboxes and Marie tried to bribe me with a cuppa but I declined, pushing on instead to Grassington to capture images of other clue gatherers.

Leeds gang member Jon Abbott

Sharon Abbott The Leeds ringleader

Grassington was full of Sunday tourists and a mini market was in full swing. I stayed a minute to photograph the Leeds ringleader again before leaving them to buy savouries and snacks from the stalls and hopefully get a few clues whilst filling their fat faces! Yes folks I just might have accepted a bribe at this point. With rumbling belly I pushed onto Burnsall to the next port of call, I saw nobody here so carried on through the cars and meandering people.  Burnsall is a really pretty place and I would like to have stayed a bit longer, the bridge is well maintained and easy on the eye as was the ice cream van! The date on the bridge was a little blurred and scarred hence just the year was requested.
Pushing on to Appletreewick now, the keyword being UPWARDS, hinting that one should keep taking the upwards  road and not deviate left or right. Eventually one would intersect the B6265 after negotiating a couple of difficult Stelvio like twisty uphill bends.
Clue 18 was a dig at Mark (AKA stumps) Lovell,

Did I leave the iron on?

short in stature but long in character and regular supplier of hip flask bless him. STUMP X CAVERN was the answer required which was along a fine bit of road that was gently swept by the mid afternoon breeze. Onto Greenhow Hill and the next clue at the little Norman Church. The next clue is “go to rubber like homes”….BLUBBERHOUSES Do you get it now folks?
This is a great road for a swift blast, a long undulating road of vast views away to the left where you could see the vast golf balls of Mendleworth, a U.S communications facility, make of that title what you wish! The road then heads down steeply before intersecting the A59 Skipton to Harrogate road, ride this for a hundred yards and turn off at the church that was once a chapel…the clue asks “Name the chapel please”, the church name is what you see first, so a bit sneaky is this one!
It’s just five minutes to the end now and the directions given lead everyone to Swinsty Reservoir, enter the sky blue gates before the blue water. Most were there by now with the last few bikes just a few minutes behind.

Tina slaves away as per normal.

It took about 3 hrs for most to complete. Barry, Julie and Tina were busy cooking burgers sausages and stuff under a bright yellow awning.A quiet moment!

We had obtained permission from the water authorities to hold our barbi here, this is where the treasure hunt entry fee of £5 per bike went. The food was plentiful, in fact we had plenty left over to feed some tired out youths who were doing some walking expeditions, they were involved in Duke of Edinburgh awards I think. Their vehicles were near us and they were very happy to help us clear away what was left.

Denise and Nigel.Treasure hunt winners.

Everyone tucked in and enjoyed each others company in the afternoon sun. Mark and Chrissy made a great effort to come to the barbi. Chrissy

Chrissy had come from the night shift at the hospital, Mark brought the old hipflask filled with mature sloe gin, wonderful stuff it was too, just a nip is all that’s required.  All I wanted now was another bottle and a park bench! Tony spilt the beans about one of Marks little adventures in Scarborough and got chased off for his effort, it was funny to watch the boys squabbling. The impromptu bike show of eleven Honda Goldwing 1500 and 1800cc motorbikes attracted the general public’s interest. One of the localpark rangers dropped by to said hello again to Barry. Everyone seemed to have had a fine day, the girls were much fitter after climbing on and off the back so many times to last them until next season!APPY WANDERERS  Sunday family

It was nice to see some not so familiar faces. Proof that what Barry and I are doing is worthwhile and we are on track achieving our goal, that being to get folk out of the house, pub or meeting and onto the roads of England!  Barry and Dave the first of many APPY WANDERERS

Time passed by quickly, the ambiance much enjoyed but time was time and miles had to be done to finally get ones feet up for the last time today. We all began to trickle away homebound, it takes ages to say goodbye to so many friends. The Nutbrowns got a good luck from us all as they returned to “Cod head” land with their slow puncture. I followed Barry and the girls back to Keighley but we were held up by some old codger and his wife out for a slow ride on their H/D Why he didn’t wave Barry by I don’t know, he just hogged the road for miles. We emptied the van and Julie and I had a nice cup of tea at the club house then rode the last sixty odd miles home, parking up finally at around half seven. I am looking forward to next years hunt already, going to find some devious places next time though!
The Wanderers SCRIBEFor the record Denise and Nigel Corby were victorious in stealing first place, two extra burgers were awarded as were two of our new design dress Polo T shirts, well done! Oh nearly forgot to mention which team came last, this award goes to the Laurel and Hardy….Tony Hudson and Nick the Freak.
I promised Denis that I would include this little story so here it is ….Whilst sitting around chatting Nigel and Denise were talking about their barbi kit and she said she even cooked peas on it. A flash went through my mind of the longest thinnest kebab stick in the world and before I could engage brain to gob I blurted out, how the hell can you do peas on a barbi! Honest I knew the answer before I got to the end of the sentence. The air cracked as Denise fell apart with laughter at my manly dumbness, she laughed and laughed and laughed! Are you happy now you have got your own back buggerlugs??  Xxx

Tilateronthen
                                      THE SCRIBE

This morning was sunny and warm in Keighley, very unusual for August in England these days,  we are more aquatic than sun kissed!  Bikes of the future will have bows and their speed will be measured in knots, even “golloshers” will be making a return at the rate things are going!
But not today, it really was sunny and the clouds were nowhere to be seen as Barry and I pulled up outside Appleyards bike showroom in Keighley with the girls.  A host of people were there already, these were going to be today’s Appy Wanderers. 
From Halifax, regular “rideouters” Russ and Elaine stood with their dark red 1800; Elaine has been missing for the last few ride outs, so it was nice to see her again.  Next to them a new red 1800 stood with Tony and Heather form Wakefield, this is their first year with us and they have been on several runs already! In the middle of those two were Tom and Michelle on their “Ace of Spades” a lovely black 1800. Old Geoff and Christine fresh from The Canaries sat like brown rich folk on “Tangerine Dream” their orange 1800.  Nick from Bradford stood by his queerly coloured pink 1500, the two bare little stumps on his right hand now open to the sunshine but still very tender, don’t worry mate this time next year you won’t notice them!
“Condorman” Gordon was here again on the council light 1500, he informed me his good lady was mortified that she had been mentioned on the last Whitby run as being the cause for Gordon not having any burn for the pipe, on the back of that she toddled down to the shop and bought plenty for his ride out today! Bless her! Did I mention I had run out of lager from the fridge missus?

Evelyn wishing for a great day!

 Mr Mick Conners and Evelyn came along today, they last rode with us on the Matlock run, which incidentally was their first Sunday of being an Appy Wanderer, welcome back guys.
Mr and Mrs Topley from Castleford came for their first ride out with us today. Colin was the chairman of The Yorkshire wing region for three years and has a face to remember from all the posters and mug shots in their monthly advertiser ages ago.  He has stopped all that running around now and is enjoying Sundays with wife Anne for what they were invented for.
Those that needed to fill up with fuel did so and flew down the Skipton bypass to catch up with the convoy which was quickly done on the huge smooth empty duel carriageway. Not one bike was waiting at Skipton today so we turned and headed toward Devils Bridge.
A bright and dry Sunday morning meant a steady pace as the council revenue collectors sat in dark holes all along the beautiful A65 Kirkby Lonsdale road looking for easy pickings with plastic radar guns instead of guarding society against lowly scumbags with real guns and the 10,000 known repeat offenders out there going about their business.
At Devils Bridge sat “Purple Pussy” with Mark and Chrissy in good spirits and ready for another great days riding.  We stopped here for a mug of tea and to give others a chance to join us. It was a twenty minute stop, this passed quickly as time nudged us in the back, we collected ourselves as a group and pulled away from the thirty or so bikes at the tea stop. We whizzed down a great road (A638) towards Casterton and Killington, I remember this road mainly in late winters or early springtime when the colours are much richer and diverse, the various browns, dusky oranges and golds.  Spotted here and there with the evergreen bushes, sometimes we cruise through here and the land has been lightly dusted with casting suger…or was it snow!
We ran alongside the M6 first on a wicked B road, joining the A685 to criss cross the boring M6, eventually we dropped down from the hill side to join it at Tebay. We had a short blast on the M6 up to Penrith before turning west onto the A 66 to Kewick and Cockermouth. We turned off though well before Cockermouth on the excellent B5289  passing Crummock Water and Buttermere. We stopped for a quick break as someone’s bladder could hold no longer, one or two others climbed off and followed Christine to the loo taking advantage of the moment.
Barry lit one up and we chatted a while, it turned just a tad colder now we were in the hills. The weak ones returned feeling lighter now and felt more comfortable, we rode through the Sunday plebs as they hogged the car park pretending to be country folk with daft coloured trousers and noisy brats clinging to them, “Quicker Barry quicker, lets get the flock out of here” I said to myself!    

 At the foot of Honister Pass

Honister Pass sat above us presently, the mine was at the top of the pass in the crook of the huge V of slate covered hills. Miles back we managed to pass a small shiny Virago trike that hogged the road for ages, it took an age to get around the old fart, he never gave a thought to letting eleven Goldwings pass. Are these things the motorhome of the bike world one wonders? All the same we waved as we passed the old couple, neither had any bike kit on at all except for helmet and gloves, they were so lightly dressed that this was probably their once a month five mile run. I had stoped at the bottom of the pass to take a picture when the trike came by, I started off after them and we reached the mine entrance about the same time.A sunny moment  at the summit

It was an awkward entry to the mine car park, it sat on an uphill bend and was quite loose underfoot, people found at a tad awkward. I on the other hand had stopped earlier to take in the spectacular views. Colin and Anne Topley enjoy a cup of tea

By the time we got to the mine just half a mile away everyone had managed to get in and settled eventually finding a spot to park on the loose shale, it is a very poor place to park a bike I have to say, I looked for somewhere solid to squeeze in. The team photo was taken by a friendly passer bye and I feature for the first time in the team photo folk! We had a pastie and tea, choosing to sit outside on the stone wall taking in the magnificent views.
                                    Appy Wanderers at Honiston Mine

Steve and Jane had arrived from Scotland on their 1800 Goldwing trike, to say “Hello “ and hug the English family they’d  inherited from the 2005 tour. It looks like they are trying to shake off their “self ostracized” tag, because today they had brought a friend with them! It won’t work Steve old bean, we love you just the way you are, the days just wouldn’t be the same without a fleeting guest appearance from you two! To watch you through the cacophony of mad noisy Appy Wanderers as you toss in the occasional witty comment to quell the yellow shirted headless English chickens is a great leveller. You remind me of my teenage days at school of my mentor Mr Smith, he was my liberal English Lit teacher who encouraged my slightly off the wall way of thinking!  To see Jane’s bum again is, well just quite nice and she is so sweet to hug! Jane has become our Gypsy Rose Lee and can see naked men in the tea leaves. No ride out is complete without an appearance from these two characters. Look out Pitlochery in 2010 is all I can say!
An hour or so later we parted company with a nod, wave and a kiss and hauled ourselves up the blind summit and away down the other side into Borrowdale. The road was small and twisty as it ran between the tree lined hill side at one side and Derwent Water on the other, a fast car or two sized me up to pass on this narrow section, but I saved them a whole load of grief and rode slightly more to the middle, and encouraged them to wait a while. Patience was foisted on these short sighted drivers. A bit naughty you might think but I think I saved  grief all round and possibly an accident. Minutes later as we neared  Keswick the roads improved, they were encouraged to pass, did they say thanks? Did they flip!
Keswick was full to the pavement of happy Sunday city dwellers, a group of lycra cyclists wobbled along at walking pace, before stopping to dismount and pushed their bikes up the presented high street, a horde of pedestrians took their place and wondered about oblivious to my presence.  A short swift rev of the throttle woke them up and they got back onto the pavement out of harm’s way. Sheep, Sheepdog? work it out folks! We made haste and caught everyone up and made our way to Windermere.

Mick looks for his wallet.

Windermere was bursting at the gunnels with people too. As we slowly rode through, people stopped and stared as our music machines grabbed their interest momentarily. One day I will come here on an empty day, maybe a Thursday in February? We turned as usual into Bowness-on-Windermere, today there was a fun fare on the green, we cruised slowly to the car park and found a large space between the cars and a grassy mound,                                 

Elaine and Russ with Nick

We disrobed as cars went round and round the car park looking for a spot. It was now mid afternoon and the sun was busy beating down on us, families were enjoying this rare sunny day, folk from all walks of life mingled along the walkways, pleasure boats were doing good business, shops and lakeside pubs looked busy. We split off into groups or couples and strolled along. Heather and Tony pose by Lake Windermere

We stopped for an ice cream and people watched for a while, my favourite past time. I find It interesting to see the size, shapes and colours we all are! An hour quickly passed and we slowly strolled back to the bikes, some of the ladies broke away to dart into shops offering 50% off their goods. Barry cuddles Anne.

Shopping is a lucrative and worthwhile past time this summer as the recession still bites deep, Julie came back to the bikes with a bag or two of finery.
An alternative ride out of Windermere was offered to Barry by knowing Wingers, as we all craved clearer roads. Sunny shiny days are wonderful but the downside is that EVERYONE loves these kind of days and the roads soon clog as beauty spots quickly fill up. We do very well on alternative roads and made our way to the motorway for a short blast to the exit and a great ride back down to Kirkby Lonsdale and a tea stop. We voted to park amongst the bikes and not in the car park as Barry tried to suggest. He must have been tired to suggest such a thing! It was the best time of day now as the late afternoon slowed to a Mr Kipling pace, the sun turned down the heat and dogs panted less. We sat under cover of the trees on the wall, some of us listened on the radio to the last few minutes of the Charity Shield football game, it had gone to penalties. Manchester United were sweating it out with those “ponces” from London. Unfortunately Chelsea managed to snatch victory from the “Mancs”.  Oh well Tom says retrospectively, The Charity Shield is only a tin pot thing, they can have it! As a curtain raiser to the football season this has never really been thought of as a big prize in the football supporters mind, I remember thinking the same when I was a “yoof”

The dog takes its owners to Devils Bridge!

Julie and I said goodbye to Russ and Elaine as they pushed on towards Halifax on their own, we followed the rest of the gang down to Skipton, skipping in and out of the slow early evening traffic before parting company with the group just before the Skipton turning, we called goodbye to each other at the roundabout and as we turned onto the bypass zooming on towards Keighley I reminded folk over the CB that Barry was paying for the fish and chips, It had been a great day on the bike and in the great company of today’s Appy Wanderers. The rideout was just over 200 miles today. We skirted around Keighley centre, up the hill to Cullingworth, Denholme taking in the lovely long views over to the left as we went through Queensbury, we dropped down onto the M62 at the Bradford junction. It was fairly quiet as we gained speed through the quiet traffic, the sun was still in evidence as the warm day turned into a glowing evening, we dropped down closer towards sea level as we crossed from West to South Yorkshire and onto the M18. We rode this motorway a short while south before exiting the motorway at Thorne, the evening drinkers were out and about already as we passed through the old town. POOKA say’s I’m flamin Hank Marvin!

POOKA sat waiting for us as we pulled into the drive, she stared at us with those hungry eyes meowing loudly like she does, signalling the end to another great day on the bike.
           Tilthenextime.                     
                                                  The Scribe

          Gordon and Rocky at Bawtry

We had our first mild soaking here as we sat around waiting for any stragglers, none arrived so just after ten thirty today’s Appy Wanderers left Bawtry, we were Barry Walton  (T1), Mick Emmett on his golden 1500, Brian and Janet on the their dark red 1500, John and Lynne on the purple 1800 trike. Gordon on the flashing golden 1500, Wakefield’s Tony on the candy red 1800, Mark and Chrissy on the Purple Pussy 1800, Russ on the neat 1800 and last but not least by a long chalk Ian and Adrienne ( known as C.C to his friends) on their old blue 1500 and STILL with his Alpine rear disk, no hills today so he should be able to keep up!
The first waypoint for our squadron today was Gainsborough, turning right after the lights to follow the River Trent  briefly before heading east, squirming down tiny country lanes through the villages of Marton, Stow and Cammeringhar, we came to a double junction, which to be honest only looked like one, Barry called out to be aware but Gordon was oblivious and shot out in front of the old lady in her car, it gave her such a  start she actually stalled her car,  I stopped to let her pass when she collected herself and finished her chuntering, I nodded to her in agreement.  I suppose not many groups of Goldwings come through these parts, I’m glad to say no damage and no injuries were caused, and hopefully our ”Condor man” was fully awake now.
We came to our first RAF interest of the day and that was the beautiful village of Scampton, home of 617 squadron for part of the war, these guys became famous for their dambusting raids, yes folks they were “The Dambusters”.  We passed slowly through the village, Barry pointed out the public house of the same name on the left as we passed the cemetery on the right.  Along the ridge top now we rode and skirted the end of the western end of the runway of RAF Scampton, it’s now the home of the famous RED ARROWS.  Away to our right was a vast view of the west, we could see Retford and Worksop in the middle distance and just see the hills of  The Peak District on the horizon, Sheffield would have sat before them but wasn’t  visible to the naked eye.
Lincoln was our next waypoint, Lincoln is a cathedral city, but in size it is not a very big city, it’s more like a large town, with the usual sets of traffic lights pedestrian lights and white vans! It was an easy run through even though our Barry took a slight detour, the pedestrian precinct looked very inviting I have to agree, but not the way forward for ten Honda Goldwings! He showed a sprightly u-turn and came back to us as we sat grinning at the lights! Back on course we followed the signs for the A15 and Sleaford and enjoyed a quick pleasant cruise through Lincoln in the sunshine.

                                         RAF WADDINGTON preview area.

A few miles down the road we came to our first tea stop, it was the official viewing car park for folk interested in military aircraft. I guess the RAF are happy to give us this piece of land in return for keeping plane spotters in the one place and not having to constantly move them on from all points around the airfield! Today we could see three or four AWACS parked up. These are huge Boeing 707 aircraft converted for military use, they have a giant dinner plate stuck on their backs which is a huge radar of about six foot in thickness. These aircraft are in use quite a lot in the middle east at the moment. The tea hut is overwhelmed by all fourteen Appy Wanderers, as is the solitary toilet! 

       Multi layered Lynne.

 The last time I was here it was run by himself and his wife, the poor guy was on his own today his wife had the day off. Barry and Lynne

We looked at the aircraft and at the resting delta winged Avro Vulcan that sat on permanent display just a few yards away beyond the chain link fence. She was once part of our nuclear V bomber force from the 1960’s along with the Handy Page Valiant and Victor  jet bombers. We stood and chatted whilst looking up at the darkening clouds, rain was approaching so we zipped up and moved on just as the rain arrived by the bucket full, we sidestepped it in a minute and were hardly touched!
 We turned on a parallel course down a tiny road to Metheringham, then in a south east direction across the Fens through a village called Martin, then on through a sizable Woodhall Spa. This was also a former RAF facility, the nearby small museum had an English Electric Lightning jet fighter sitting on the grass, we kind of looked at it but we were just being ambushed by another dark wet front  that drenched the living daylights out of all who dared to stay out in the open….aha, that would be us then!
 It wasn’t bad at the first few minutes of its arrival but on entering the village of Coningsby it got suddenly worse and Barry quickly pulled over under some overhanging trees for some shelter.  

Taking cover in Coningsby

We all followed suit and squeezed in tight, within seconds the road was awash in several inches of water.    Rocky smiling through adversity

hailstones joined in the attack and bounced around the place as we looked on from our scant shelter. Gordon scaled the fence and dived into a wood coppice, leaving his 1500 parked and peppered on the pavement, only cars and trucks moved in this deluge, not a single person was in sight. John and Lynne under the trees

It lasted about twenty minutes, those who could pulled waterproofs on, I pulled on my trusty rubber lined army long coat but forgot my rubber gloves. Presently the monsoon from the South China Seas eased and we decided to make a run for it! I’d said our destination was less than six miles away,Hailstones in Coningsby

 Poor Gordon wouldn’t come out from the woods so I gave him directions for the last fifteen minute ride and bade him farewell. I hopped onto my boat…. I mean bike and rode off after the group who had by now exited the village. RAF Coningsby and the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight lay just a few hundred yards away to our right but we gave it a miss today in favour of the warm dry NAFFI and hot tea at the Heritage Centre at nearby East Kirkby instead!
We took over a corner in the NAFFI and peeled off our kit, naturally it had stopped raining just as we arrived! We rode our bikes directly into the museum and parked in a long line in front of the hanger where the four engine Lancaster bomber sat, its nose just visible through a half opened door, but we needed a bit of TLC first so we piled inside and sat at the tables drinking hot tea and waited for our meals, most of us were just damp under our bike kit, this didn’t stop Lynne from taking her knickers off, (in the loo of course) she now sat opposite me in just a pair of waterproof leggings and skimpy white top, I was shoving chips up my nose and pouring tea in my ear-hole in total distraction bless you! Gordon had arrived by now too, he had come out of hiding, scuttling along the running river that was the A155, he showed us his wet belly, Barry shouted snap and showed his! Our bodies began to dry, we were here, all was OK and blue skies and sunshine arrived, we drifted outside to lay our wet clothes and gloves in the sunshine.

Drying the wet gear

I spoke with Louise the PR lady and family member of the museum, she was sorry but because of the unsettled weather their fragile  pride and joy would not be parked outside this afternoon, instead the hanger doors would be fully opened and we could take our bikes inside to park just in front of her in a V formation. We shifted a few bikes around then switched them a bit more….then a bit more, at last the right position, it’s not every day we get such an opportunity, so it had to be just right, right Lynne?

Avro Lancaster NX611 “JUST JANE” posed with ten Honda Goldwings

for a team photo. I’d like to thank Brian and Janet and Russ for letting me use some of their photographs in this write up, cheers guys! I would like to thank Mick Emmett especially for the above work of art

Two beauties pose.

After the photos were done and we had a short look around, our jackets and gloves had dried nicely, it was about that time already, time to head home. Admiring the lancaster JUST JANE

 We said thank you to the folk at East Kirkby and in warm sunshine Barry led us out of the centre, we waved goodbye to Lynne and John as they headed off in a different direction whilst the rest of  us rode towards Lincoln via Horncastle, hitting the Lincoln ring road, skirting round onto the A15 northbound, there is a quirky squiggle as the A15 actually goes around the eastern end of the runway at RAF Scampton! We had ridden past the other end earlier in the day remember? We then rode about twenty miles in heavy traffic, making great progress as most of the vehicles pulled over a tad to let us pass. We found the M180 at Scawby heading along it westwards at a faster pace. It was really warm as we cruised on in twenty plus degrees. I was the first to leave the group, I waved as I slowed on the slip road and headed toward Hatfield and ran close by the nearby civilian airstrip, it lay on a taxi way that was all that was left of a former wartime four engine bomber conversion airfield RAF Sandtoft. The day ended in calm warm sunshine the wild hailstones at Coningsby were long forgotten! Chalk up another great day you Appy Wanderers.

                                                       Tilateron……
                                                                                      The Scribe

 Steve “Spanners”

There sat “Steve Spanners” and “Nick the Freak” two 1500 breadvan owners, “Spanners” is the mild mannered and ever smiling Mr. Whilst “Le Freak” is the special Nick “The Freak” Scott

Nick Scott from nearby Bradford, as you recall he has had a gammy hand, a result of an accident at work yonks ago, Nick agreed to let the surgeon lop off the two curled digits and streamline his hand, he is bandaged at the moment and in some pain but much MUCH happier with his lot. He is looking forward to wearing a pair of bike gloves when the discomfort subsides. Wow what a man! This dude is a proper biker don’t you agree? 10 out of 10 my man for keeping the faith. Please accept a shiny medal for your commitment to biking Nick!
We headed off towards Shipley to pick up Mark and Chrissy and their 1800 Purple Pussy, they were hiding from the drizzle under a tree. Just a couple of weeks ago we were both burning tyre rubber on glorious high Alpine roads and we were now reduced to this shitty weather…Still, it is July!
Off we shot towards Thirsk, two 1500 breadvans and three 1800 race horses. Barry’s ride was described as a candy shack by “Spanners” quite funny really as the colour of Barry’s is a bit on the girly side!  Heading out of Skipton on wet shiny roads, I saw both “Spanners” and Nick  do a quick shimmy as they piled on the coals coming off a roundabout and both back ends squirmed on the shiny wet roads. Breadvans they are but both ridden with style and pace! We skirted an old meeting point at Riply castle, nobody there today, we rode on, slowly leaving the grey muck behind, the road dried, the sky turned blue again. Thank you very much Mother Nature for the change in heart.

Thirsk  market town

We arrived in Thirsk at the familiar spot on the market square and parked carefully on cobbles and met up with the rest of the days riders.

The new guys

Bill and Lorraine came down from Newcastle way, take note you wimpy fair weather mile conscious Wingers! Theirs was another1500 breadvan, they had only had it a short while, this being their first ride out. They would soon iron the teething problems out of their unfamiliar ride over the next few months and before long they would be grinning instead of grimacing from ear to ear as their beast convinced them they could get a wiggle on in fine style and not crash into the nearest hedge!
Next came two more “newbie’s” in the shape of Deryck and Jan from the backwaters of York on their deep blue 1800, though technically they were not new because they joined Julie and I on the first fifty miles of “The Tea and Scones Run” in May of this year when we were making a parallel run back to join Barry near the M6, Jan became unwell as the morning matured, she felt so bad that they turned and headed for home…..But not today!

Ken and Jean Beck

Ken and Jean Beck from Harrogate were here today on their German 1500, they had recently succumbed to Barry’s pleas at Colin Appleyard Goldwing Centre and put some “dosh” down on an 1800 racing snake, Jean was not convinced of the luxurious comforts the 1800 offers over the 1500. No doubt Jean would soon decide the sexy beast (no not Ken) was to be the one for her, her leathered bum would soon squish the navigators seat to her satisfaction…keep persevering Jean!

Wakefield’s Tony and Heather

Tony and Heather came on over from Wakefield on their new red 1800. Heather smiled a lot today, she too is getting used to the new bike and looks to  be really enjoying herself, another converted soul, welcome to paradise city girl!
“Havatrucker” is here again, Gordon rode down from Leeds on his dirty golden 1500; it was getting more like a Warburton’s convention, ha ha ha! Today Gordon had fixed a big yellow trainers bag beneath his yellow workman’s light, I hadn’t quite worked out why, he did say during the day but his answer on the CB was very long and broke up several times in the morning breeze. It was getting late as we stood around chatting and taking the rise out of the usual suspects….Mark. It was after 1100 hrs when finally today’s group of ten Wings of Appy Wanderers pulled out onto the road. The cars played along and stopped, letting us all get out as one, a good omen for the day I thought, may the cars continue to behave.
We left Thirsk in the direction of Sutton Bank and as we twisted up the hill side I noted the clouds were still around but lightly coloured and few in number, the grey stuff looked far away to the west. The last right turn at the top is a bit wicked but not a problem for those of us that had just returned from the Alpine test tracks!  We cruised along the tops towards Helmsley, not stopping here today we carried on through and turned right towards Pickering, there wasn’t a large number of bikes in the square as there usually are, I saw just half a dozen this mid morning. Maybe they accepted what the weather people were saying and did “the family thing” today? Yesterday I brought a lady this way on the bike for a birthday treat and she loved the twisting roads to Pickering, reaching triple figures at times…that was 70.5 MPH (for the benefit of that Yorkshire snitch out there!!!)
Do you know the feeling when you often pass a road and wonder where it leads to? Well today I finally found out as Barry led us a “different way” towards Whitby. It wound its way to Hutton-Le-Hole. Once there we turned right and headed on over the North York Moors, the breeze was fresh and welcome. We rode over the waves of heather lined tarmac, we dropped steeply down and round into Rosedale Abbey turning right towards Egton Bridge.
In the distance I spotted an old castle or stately home of some kind, it was just visible on the skyline. I called to Barry what it might be; Tina shot back, “Its FYLINGDALES stupid!” We were on a parallel road but four or five miles apart from the main road going from Pickering to Whitby….the same road that the huge top secret RAF listening facility is located!!! Some wag chirped up on the CB “You go explore that castle and I’ll get you a good lawyer. Ha bloody ha!” Maybe that’s why I’m at the back and not the front?
We came to a difficult right turn, it was our small road leading onto a larger road, we had to turn right and steeply uphill at nearly ninety degrees to join it. We all got round by skill, luck and a prayer. It certainly made one sit up and concentrate, a common road over there in the Alps but not at all common here in England! We made a beeline for Goathland, it’s also known as Aidensfield village in TV’s Heartbeat series, for you “suverners” out there.

…I remember when…

We pulled onto the forecourt of Scripps garage and saw two more Appy Wanderers sitting having a drink or two as they waited for us to arrive. This was Chris and Eve from the Hull area who rode a deep red 1800, we don’t see them much these days, I hadn’t seen them for about twelve months so it was nice to catch up with them. These two came on the original Appy Wanderers tour in 2005 where I conducted their mock wedding in Lake Garda! We took over the tea garden and several benches. That was a funny affair!  People looked on as we ribbed each other and recalled several tall stories, both true and a bit false, like Chrissy and her 25 mile orgasm on the Grossglockner. If the grandkids could see and hear what was being said I’m sure they would look at us in a different light! This is what Sundays were made for don’t you think? The Geordies

We waved goodbye to the tea man, people gathered around the bikes as we made ready to leave with cameras poised as they waited for us to zip up, climb aboard our 15’s and 18’s. The road cleared and we made good our exit, I was last to leave making sure we had all actually left! We rode down into the valley over the railway bridge and back up the other side to join the Pickering to Whitby road; just a mile or so away to the right stood Fylingdales Stately Home in its entire slab sided grey metal splendour. Silly bugger me!!
Barry thought we might park in a different spot today in Whitby and took us into the top car park under the whalebone monument; we gave ourselves an hour and half here, ample time to wolf down fish and chips from a tray whilst sitting on the harbour wall. The trick was to keep ones shoulder between your food and the HUGE George Segals (seagulls) that flashed close by all the time. To say it was supposed to be a wet day there were plenty of folk milling around and the usual “Goths” looking for Dracula. We had a browse in the dark ages as we explored some of Whitby’s crooked back streets before making our way back up the hill to our bikes.

Rocky sizes up the team shot

It was time for the team photo, we put just a couple of bikes in front of the whalebone monument, Barry arranged everyone around the bikes, even getting my Julie to get on her knees so the small Schnurfler from Bolton could be seen at the back. 

 Appy Wanderers team shot in Whitby

Tony and Heather were not present for the photo as they were having just another slice and a cup of tea down in the town somewhere. They returned as Gordon lit up a huge cigar and let slip that he was only smoking it because he had run out of baccy for his pipe and that his wife usually bought the stuff.  It was suggested he brought his pipe and some money and buy fresh baccy here in Whitby. “Well, the wife normally buys it and I don’t know where to buy it”.  I couldn’t tell if Gordon was taking the rise or if he was genuine, his explanation made everyone laugh all the same.
After that gem of a story we all rode off with a smile on our faces, we headed toward Scarborough on the coast road, it’s a fine road which sweeps along dipping and rising on nice tarmac, we took it easy and sat in the traffic because our turn was imminent. We turned right into The North Riding Forest Park, this is a quiet pearl of a place, Barry and I “discovered” it last year on one of our Thursday research and development days, the roads are really small and have little tufts of grass growing here and there, it’s generally high banked with hedges and bushes so you need to take good care for other road users, we usually only encounter one or two cars, the odd tractor, chickens and a pile or two of cow dung otherwise it’s a fine little tour, by far it’s the prettiest of today’s roads.
It wasn’t long before we joined up with the A64 again, it was busy, it’s always bloody busy! The weather turned, it looked very grey ahead, in fact it looked to be wall to wall grey as the promised rain front arrived from the west. We stopped at the first garage after Malton, topped up the tanks and made a decision to end the ride out here instead of at Squires Café twenty miles further into the rain, it was after four in the afternoon so I don’t think any of us felt cheated. It had started wet at the beginning of the day and was going to end in the wet, but to be fair it stayed dry for most of the day and we all enjoyed ourselves. Today’s new guys can now chalk up their first ride out with Appy Wanderers, I think they really enjoyed themselves and didn’t feel out of their depth. I’ll finish off by saying I think the 1500 breadvans and 1800 candy wagons mixed well today!
Tilateronthen.
                     The Wanderers Scribe