The dawning of Sunday 8th August saw me at Great Ayton near Middlesbrough, I was cleaning the bike in readiness for today’s adventure, I had riden through several showers the day before as I rode up here from home in Doncaster, hence the dawn wash and scrub up. To be honest I was excited about the days event, it seemed ages since our last rideout. The clouds had emptied and cleared overnight leaving gardens fresh and green, the road was drying out in the early morning sun. Nine o’clock soon came as I packed my overnight bag and a few refreshments in the bike, I said goodbye to my in-laws and cruised onto the small A173 passing under the shadow of “Roseberry Topping” the local mountain of 322 metres. You can pick it out easily owing to its particular shape, its rather like a wonky walnut whip!
ROSEBURY TOPPING……………
I joined the A171 for the quick run to Whitby twenty six miles away, passing Guisborough and Scaling Dam on the way. The image of Whitby Abbey comes into view from a long way off because it sits on the high cliff top with nothing but the North Sea behind so stands out well.
I called at the usual garage on the last roundabout and saw my mate Barry filling up, the Martian was inside paying the lady, yes, there she was with her silver helmet firmly glued to her bonce, she never takes it off, in winter it stays on to keep her warm and in summer it stays on to make her look well hard! We rode the last mile to the Whale Bones car park, the sun was out and Whitby looked light and summery, youngsters splashed and played in an open air bathing pool to our right, folk were making their way down to the beach with arms full of clobber for the day. Everyone was in for a good day so bugger the money crisis and the dismal spin we are fed daily.
Most riders were here already parked in a long line and gathering admiring glances from the public, a couple of old guys were muttering “Dus tha remember when bikes were proper bikes and not like these bloody armchairs eh Tom?” “aye thas reight Bill….bloody armchairs!” I smiled shaking my head as I heard that old record once again whilst others stood and took photo’s.
Barry bought the coffee, we said hi to the guys sat around the café, I then wandered off to say hello to todays APPY WANDERERS who were milling about the bikes. I met a fresh face that belonged to Keith who came down from Washington near Sunderland, 
I asked if he’d been here overnight camping perhaps? He explained he hadn’t ridden his red 1500 for two years because of work and stuff and decided to bring his trailer as that hadn’t seen the tarmac for three years! I wandered further up the line wondering about Keith’s train of thought, yes by all means air the trailer but not on a rideout, it’s not practical and could cause all sorts of problems.
Nick the Freak was here with his new blue 1800 trike he brought an old friend out for the day, she was Sexy boots Sue, she was really looking forward to the day so too were Drerekand Heather fresh from their two week sortie into Germany, Austria and a bit of Italy. Alan and Christine sat opposite on their grey trike from Pudsey near Leeds.
KEITH of WASHINGTON
Christine was still a bit sore with the new knee job but was making the effort, good on you girl.
Amongst the bikes at the end of the line were June and Dave. Now let me set the records straight and explain that Dave is not from Geordieland but hails from Redcar,
last year I’d recorded wrongly about “The Two Geordie Gentlemen” (Dave and Jimbo) who had teamed up on one bike during the treasure hunt, I got some stick of them as they berated me loudly in Redcarian speak about their heritage, Dave boasted that he was from Dewsbury originally, but declared the smell of curry drove him to Redcar…which is not really that far from Newcastle.
With them were Debbie and Pete from Stockton, they have joined us once or twice before with their red 1500, Pete proudly told me that Debbie got her ample bosom in
JUNE and DAVE…of REDCAR
a magazine recently. I inadvertently looked and thought centre spread? Our conversation stopped for a minute and we stood laughing at each other!
DEBBIE of STOCKTON 
Pete from York came today on his older 1500, it was his first ride out with us, his bike was still quite new to him and was proving to be a bit of a money magnet at the moment, don’t you just hate that? He vowed to take on some of the mechanic work himself to keep the price down. He was here today on his own, his wife was at home because she is not interested in the bike….yet! Pete wants to go into Europe at some point on his 1500. Once you get your first taste you will never look back Pete, I look forward to it every year.
I can still remember my first nervous trip abroad on my own in the middle 1970’s. It wasn’t really abroad I went across to the IOM for three weeks on my own but it felt abroad to me! The bike was a blue Suzuki GS550cc. Can you believe the bastards lashed my bike to the railings on deck? It’s really hard to believe these days I know but they did! I spent the first week away washing salt marks from the chrome, it never really looked the same after that. Later in 1979, a year of firsts, I took my first wife on my first Goldwing to Gurnsey, she was a black one (the bike not the wife). It was a naked 1000cc K model. Fairings or panniers hadn’t been dreamed up by the Honda boys back then. She had blue and gold pin stripes too. I remember lashing two suitcases on the back rack wrapped in blackbags, the front end was so light which was a good job really because I had a puncture and came all the way back with the front filled with that useless finileck shyte, What an adventurous pioneer I was in my yoof!
Speaking of pioneers Mr Ron Kent was here too, did anyone spot Ron in his yellow jacket or catch his posh southern accent? Our Ron came up from Maidstone for the weekend! Ron is an unassuming chap with an iron ass and a nice smile. Ron came to Pitlockery with us in June, In fact one of our runs over the weekend was so short for him that he took himself off on a detour just to bang in some extra miles! He also appeared at the Yorkshire Air Museum recently during one or our recent ride outs. If we did prizes for furthest travelled then our Ron would have a shed full, but we don’t so he hasn’t. I wonder if Ron’s wife really believes him when he tells her he is just popping to the shops for some fags! Ron you put most Wing owners to shame, well done sir!
Deryck with a Y and Jan stood near their dark blue 1800, these guys hail from t’other side of York. These two likeable toffs are in their element now they have bought into the Goldwing lifestyle, in fact he is about to buy a bike trailer for the camping stuff! Deryck is looking considerably younger these days, he is looking quite the punk with spiky hair and dark shades, Jan is getting looser too she is disregarding her £100 perms in favour of the lesbian cut that’s favoured by most of our women, I even heard her swear recently too!
Mick and Evelyn were here on their 1800 too, these two Leeds folk are coming on more and more of our ride outs and are really enjoying the crack, He is a funny man but then he is Irish isn’t he? They too came up to Pitlockry in June at the last moment and had a great time.
Ian and Adrianne were here on their old coughing dark blue 1500, they have a three foot amber flashing landing light strapped to the rear of the bike! I’m not sure why, I thought he fit it as a joke early this year but it seems it is here to stay, along with his farmyard noise toy, It’s surely going to be the death of him as more and more folk get irked by it, perhaps he will activate it one more time and the booby trap will explode blowing him and his farmyard toy to kingdom Come!
Happy IAN on his mobile farmyard!
Elaine and Russ from Halifax turned up before we left, they are here in Whitby because Elaine is recuperating, they are old friends and just wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone, we wished her a speedy recovery before pulling out of the car park heading up the coast. Thirteen bikes, trikes and one trailer left the car park. Russ and Elaine went back to the pub whilst today’s APPY WANDERS embarked on their adventure.
“What are APPY WANDERERS about?” is something I have heard once or twice and why the hell do Barry and Dave put so much effort into it? Let me try and explain like this, Mr X joined us with wifey for his first ride out and was full of enthusiasm but was new to the Honda Goldwing, It seems such a beast to begin with doesn’t it? He struggled a bit (didn’t we all) and rode quite slowly on the narrow roads and created a few gaps, the tight corners proved to be quite a challenge to begin with consequently he made a few mistakes, which we all did when first presented with this enormous armchair of a bike. Mr X stuck with it though he got encouraged, laughed at, nodded at, and began to get the hang of it, he is now quite competent, relaxed and confidant. Who might this Mr X be? Look around you, he is any one of you new guys! I have seen a few Mr X’s over the years let me tell you! One or two bowed out but most stay around. Barry and I don’t run a riding school by any means, but if we can help someone who is struggling then we will offer to help. Barry even took a previous Mr X on roundabouts for a morning until he believed in himself. Hence sometimes Mr X is asked to ride up behind Barry for a spell. From my position at the back I can normally observe any large gaps forming in the group and can often spot Mr X, sometimes a quick fix is achieved over the CB or Barry and Mr X discuss it quietly at the next stop and move the riding positions around, so far this method works very well for the group. Ultimately our aim is to get you to love the day as we do and get you to ride your bike and explore our roads, we ought to, we pay enough for them! The Honda Goldwing motorbike looks hugely imposing to new owners, I remember my first wing over thirty years ago I remember both my Dad and I saying “what the f*** have I done??” But with practice and encouragement the monster soon turns back into a motorbike! Just remember guys we have all ridden like useless twats in our day! We don’t have much rigidity with club rules or club memberships and all the b****ks that goes with it because we are not a club. Everyone on a Honda GoldWing bike or trike is welcome and you become an APPY WANDERER for the day simply by turning up. You’re free to turn up as often as you like….or not, the choice is all yours!
PETE of STOCKTON
We had turned into the North York Moors National Park and headed toward Glaisdale, the road was typically narrow and twisty, I say typical because it’s the kind of roads we like to use when taking the the APPY WANDERERS out for a ride, the scenery is always more pleasant and we get to see the views not usually associated with travelling along A roads, you wouldn’t get to ride through the quant and interesting hamlet called Fryup for example. This particular road was familiar to me, I’d ridden along here with Julie several times on our trips up to her parents in Great Ayton. We crossed open moorland riding very close to road side sheep, quite often they ignored us as we passed just a few feet away at
slow speed. We headed into woodland as we dropped into long gully’s and ran along streams and shrubbery, the greens were very vibrant, with splodges of colour as the flowers soaked up the suns rays. It was the height of summer and we had the rains yesterday, so it all looked and smelt very English. We dropped down into another sleepy village called Danby, then on through Kildale and Battersby.
We now rode into The Cleveland Hills and continued twisting our way along, no dry stone walls that characterizes the back roads of the Yorkshire Dales but hedges and trees and rises and bumps and twists the views are not as vast but equally beautiful, it felt good to be out in the countryside. Ingleby Greenhow was the next notable villagewhich was suitably empty on this Sunday morning, we even performed a rare U turn in one hamlet causing hardly any disruption at all. Barry was calling out some information and just to make things a bit more interesting called left turn then swung right as he and Mistress Garmin conflicted.
DURHAM’S BILL
It was funny and made the mood jovial as a few comments passed along the CB airwaves. I think Derek as our new middle man thought maybe this was a test for him and kept asking Barry if he meant left right or right left? Barry even threw in a “look to your 3 o’clock folks” sometimes to confound folk. From the back of the convoy I smirked and said nothing. Oh well it was keeping Derek alert!
We crossed my favourite road in these parts, the B road from Helmsley to Stokesley, it’s a great road to ride and to practice ones bike skills, I don’t recommend it on any Sunday though because lots of folk have the same idea and most bikes are of the race replica kind and so all the pilots think they are excellent riders, this road though tells the good they are good and the bad they are truly shyte! It’s unwise therefore to take the gang along this road today! I for one don’t want a race replica motorbike in my top box nor do I care to accommodate a stunned pilot on my back seat. So we scooted across it at Kirkby, turning onto the A172 and the A19 for a mile or so before entering Northallerton.
Like most towns Sunday is the best day to ride through them, the shops are shut and the roads are less congested. Nick called out that he was dropping out, his passenger felt unwell, he quickly pulled his blue trike over onto a patch of grass. Barry called Nick on the CB, I told Barry to leave it because as I passed I saw she was scurrying off the back seat and Nick was attending her needs! Either a bad watercress sarni or ten pints of lager and two packets of crisps was being recycled back to Mother Earth! Catterick was the next place to visit. This is an old army garrison town, it still is to this day and a lot quieter lately though as most of the soldiers are working away. I saw plenty of large dark green trucks in the compounds to the left and right. I am quite interested in this particular world so looked for other types, but as usual the interesting stuff is kept from view, we crossed over the A1 and carried on towards 
Leyburn and our first tea stop. We passed along Ministry of Defence (MOD) for a few miles and I could see light tan coloured tracks in the distance, they drew a line over the bracken and sometimes crossed each other but nothing moved out there today, no dust, no nothing. At the next left we turned and poured slowly into Leyburn centre to park up on the cobbles. Lids were removed, bums wiggled and people disrobed, top boxes went up as packed lunches came into view as flasks were wrestled open, hot coffee and tea was soon passed around. Packed lunches and flasks have really become popular this year with lots of people, at least we don’t have to stand in a line at the tea house or crowd into the small café to put the fear of god into the owner! Do you remember that chippie
LEYBURN town square. up there in Keswick when we all piled in late one Sunday and ordered 16 fish and chips to eat in! Well I think whilst it’s pleasant and dry we prefer our packed lunches outside for now.
Keith had been suffering with his back, he has a long standing fight with it, today he conceded and said he would be leaving us to take a steady ride home; it was getting a bit too sore for him. He had enjoyed it up to here. In his place came Bill and Lorraine Smith from Durham, they had been with us once or twice last year and really enjoyed themselves. Their bike is a 1500, light and dark brown in colour, Bill is still getting to grips with it, they really like being with like minded folk, love the crack and the “mickey taking” they have made lots of friends amongst the wingers and seem to be here to stay, I hope so at least. Lovely Lorraine is younger than most of us and smiles a lot which is a bonus because she has a lovely smile with twinkling eyes. Bill on the other hand is just an ordinary bloke, quite studious in his way and does our country proud in what he does with his dog for a living.
We all sat or stood around in the sunshine munching on chicken legs, bikkis and other crunchy stuff for about an hour, a few pocket rocket pilots stood nearby casting sideways glances at how organised we appeared but never said anything, maybe they only nod when they put their lids on? To be fair we were so engrossed with each other we never spoke to them either, I even got invited to lunch at Jans house over t’other side of York. It’s probably reet posh so I’ll have to have a shave and put my best clothes on, I’ll have to pick some opera for the ipod, no bloody Black Sabbeth I’m afraid! I’ll let you know how I get on.
It was time to move on, Ian appeared from around the corner and made a space for us all to pull out as one onto the road safely, Keith went back to Washington and Bill and Lorraine joined us. We rode down the hill and entered the Yorkshire Dales National Park. We rode along the A684 in some stunning scenery, we went east to Hawes which was one of those places that’s busy on Sundays, it was mostly full of Sunday bikers, ramblers and car day trippers and the odd local! The road side pubs looked full as folk sat at tables and watched the world go by, we cruised through slowly, lots of folk prefer to make swift progress on the road rather than drift slowly along the wave of mindless window shoppers and yapping brats who wanted just about everything on show! My God how they do my head in as they stop start and drift to the left and right. I have to admit I am one who walks on roads too. When I lived in London I would always walk down Oxford St on the road, it was much quicker and one could keep pace with the red buses and black cabs down this road. I love this place but not on Sundays. Out of the town we turned onto one of our beloved back roads, this time the B6255, following the River Ribble for a short while before cruising through High and Low Bentham then Ingleton. We came to another tea stop at Caton, CHEERS M’DEARS say MICK and EVELYN
it’s a long lay bye with a mobile tea hut just in the wooded clearing, it’s popular with bikers and truckers alike, it was a short tea stop before Barry led us off once more for the last bit down into Morecambe passing through Lancaster. After some trouble free roundabouts we saw the seafront and turned left to find the seafront car park near today’s team photo spot. Barry and I had thought of exactly the same spot without speaking and laughed about it, we are so different in lots of ways yet think along the same lines in other things, especially APPY WANDERERS stuff, we even finish each other’s sentence’s (joking folks joking!) He says we think quite differently and take some really different routes but often arrive at the same conclusion. I have to agree with him on this.
So in the late afternoon sun we all gathered on the prom where the arty structure sits that mirrors the mountains across the bay and have our photo taken to represent today’s “Team Photo” It had been a great day out and everyone really enjoyed themselves. Tina Walton was missing from the team photo today because she chose to check out the new toilets in rather a hurry instead. Upon her return she gave it a low score. Tina knows her toilets very well, she even tried to redecorate one near Hull once but didn’t have enough pink and orange pebbledash.
The ride was declared well completed by Barry and thanks were passed around each other. The Geordie and Redcarian contingent walked along the prom to buy all the fish and chips available, individuals split of to return home or do their own thing, some thought about staying overnight….How did it go Nick? We all said our goobye’s until the next time.
Barry and I agreed to ride back over the “Trough of Bowland” We confirmed that the official ride had indeed ended and smiled to each other, so now the adult (or child?) side of us came to the fore! Three more bikes wanted to tag along. OK cool, let’s go then I said.
Barry led us out of Morecambe and back through Lancaster, in just a few minutes he led us quickly onto the now customary back roads, only now we were going a bit quicker. Barry led, I sat near his tail watching Tina bob up and down on the back, it was interesting plus it indicated to me when a big bump was coming. Behind me rode Derek and Heather, behind them came the Pudsey trike, I was very impressed how quickly Alan pushed it along, corners looked like fun too. Christine enjoyed it too, at least I think she did because I never saw her punch Alan once! Mick an Evelyn chucked on more coal spurted after us, behind them at the rear came Ian and Adrianne, we were going so quick that at times we slowed to let people catch up again. It was so much fun and reminded me of my Thursday play-days with Barry. On one bend Barry met a coach at speed and squeezed the brakes hard as he dropped his shoulder to squeeze by, I was laughing my head off just a few yards behind, there was lots of room it just looked a close run thing, once around the bend we were giggling at each other on the CB’s. There was lots of flipping swearing too, I think that was just the adrenalin though! The road got smoother and wider as we skipped to Skipton on the wonderful A65 at a swift rate of knots. A fish and Chip supper was consumed by the canal in Skipton, we were very happy and chilled and sat around like children smirking from ear to ear at the last fast ride and the whole wonderful day in general.
Looking down at HAYSHAM
It’s great fun to be an APPY WANDERER!
At about 20.00 hrs we split up even further, Barry led the Pudsey Trike on a swift voyage along the Skipton bypass, I brought up the rear and was very impressed again as it hugged the tarmac and broke the poor bloke chasing us on his Bandit, he couldn’t believe it or was he being battered by his lady friend on the backseat! Either way he dropped back a long way until he got his breath then passed us until Barry took up the chase and escorted him to the last roundabout chewing his ass all the way! Remind me, how old are we supposed to be? Alan and Christine turned off to head towards Pudsey, I followed Barry and Tina to the clubhouse in Keighley for a last cuppa. I hit the road shortly after cruising over the tops in the setting sun to the M62 at Bradford.
I came to a final halt at 22.00 hrs on the drive in the pitch black at home in Hatfield. What a brilliant day we had I told Julie, who was in charge of three horses this week and unable to join us today, we had ridden parts of 3 ride out routes, it had been really good, she could tell I had enjoyed myself! Thanks again to Heather for those “extra” photographs x
TILATERONTHEN……………The Wanderers Scribe
