My luck was in, what a brilliant next few days Paul the weatherman had lined up for us, I had the off from work, I rang Barry and we agreed an impromptu ride for the forthcoming Sunday, we would use it as a research and development day for a future Appy Wanderers ride out. We agreed to head over in the general direction of Scarborough from SQUIRES CAFÉ using various back roads, we were going to give Mistress Garmin a run for her money and take her down some dark lanes!

“Shall we ask a few along who fancied a bit of excitement?” asks Barry. “ Aye Ok I’ll put a quick mention on the site tonight” says I as I rescue the first of several bottles of San Miguel from a frozen death in the fridge late on Friday night.

Sunday morning crept over the cool azure horizon before bursting into full bloom, it was soon caressing the garden fauna with rays of brilliant sunshine, all life turned east to face the life giving sun as it rose higher into the sky, Julie and I had to think what clothes to wear, like typical English people we packed a fleece and the wet suits …just in case!  Oh us of little faith I hear you chelp!

 We headed off towards SQUIRES CAFÉ for the 10.00 hrs meet. We rode through a quiet and empty Snaith zooming on towards Selby just a few minutes away, the roads were nice and free so we make excellent time, hooking a left on the by-pass heading towards Sherburn in short order,  we hung onto the shirt tails of a couple of pocket rockets on the last mile or two to the café. Bloody hell these guys were so slow they should have been driving motorhomes or something! We had no alternative but to pass them and I hung a leg out continental style saying “hello”. Shame on you boys!

We pulled into the busy café car park and chose a spot, I looked up to see Barry waving and was surprised to see a host of other Wingers sat with him, to be honest I only expected Tom and Michelle but they failed to show, rumour has it that they were out the night before with the  sc**ter boys club and  “over egged it” with the beverages…..Michelle! A bit of a shame that but in their place came Yorkies rep Tony and film star Hazel on their new 1500 Snott Gobblere, it is only one of two in England says he. Tony bless him, saw sense and sold Le rouge Baguette recently. Now, technically speaking the 1800 U.S trike and the 1500 are both breadvans. So if you fancy a sarni or a sticky bun you could still approach him, but don’t tell him I sent you will you? Jim and Zoe the ex Yorkies rep turned up for some fun today too which was a nice surprise. Micky the Mole was here again with that beautiful dark shiny hair of his, what shampoo do you use again Mick? From Wakefield Tony brought his wife on her second only ride. Nice one Tony, hooked is a word that springs to mind! Their black 1800 looked nice in the hot sun. Lynne and John sat on their purple pride and joy and were going to astound us with their filtering prowess, I have never seen a trike cut through traffic like they did on the A64 an hour later, Andy Tennant was here too on his gleaming red 1800, sat grinning amongst this lot was old Geoff and Chris, their golden 1800 shimmered as the morning rays passed over it.

10.30hrs soon came and we donned jackets and lids and picked our way through the parked bikes, onto the main road, zooming away under the bridge past the spot where Geoff and Chris kissed mother Earth thanks to some shyte new inferior cheap tarmac, hopefully they will sue the arse of the short sighted council.  So folks, that’s the line up for today APPY WANDERERS rideout to nowhere in particular.

Barry headed for the A64 York and eastwards, we took our spot at the back door. Just in front rode Tony and Hazel, the more I looked the more I liked the two toned puced up 1500.  We had three 1500s today so a liberal sprinkling of ribbing was showered on them! The air waves were busy with the good natured banter for quite a few miles. I think we were all smirking at the cut and thrust of comment and counter comment.

 We pulled onto the A64 at such a slow pace that an old 350 with two on, breezed past us  quickly followed by a hacking old 400 that took the Mickey just a bit too far. Enough was enough! Barry took us up to 70mph and we began to reel in the old pair.

It was somewhere along here that the traffic stopped, it was a typical Sunday on England’s main roads, there was a hot sun brilliant clear skies and piggin roadwork’s. Everyone and the ships cat were heading to Scarborough or so it seemed. This last roundabout is notorious as the start of the bottleneck, the two fast lanes head into the roundabout and exited on the other side as one slow lane; we picked our way through and exchanged pleasant chit chat with the families sitting in their tin boxes. it was like this for a mile up to the roundabout, everyone played nice today and moved over to let us through, save for one or two dickheads who took it upon themselves to try and halt our progress by pulling into our paths, people like this need to get out of the house a bit more often and get a life, what say you?

John became a very precise biker at this point and slipped through the traffic like a sheet of gossamer. From where I was sitting it was truly poetry in motion, the purple trike edged along the long line of tin box’s ever so sweetly like Southern Comfort slipping past ice cubes!

It was a few miles further on when we came across those two rattling 350 and 400’s again, we latched onto them before a hill slowed them, we purred by effortlessly leaving them chugging along fiercely in our wake. A road side café was our next stop for ten minutes before we turned off the busy A64 and headed toward Scarborough through the North Ridings Forest Park it was a pleasant mornings ride along these quiet lanes, we’d said goodbye to Tony and Hazel as they peeled away and headed towards Doncaster onto a pressing engagement.

Barry reminds us to meet up again in 2 hours!

We piled all our kit into the bikes and set off first for the loo’s then for a stroll along the front mixing with the rest of pale looking day trippers. The smell of the fish and chips soon got to me and we dived into a small chippie in spite of not feeling hungry only minutes earlier? I’m sure it’s a clever ploy to get us into their eating abodes. It was a really nice couple of hours in Scarborough I was thinking about my childhood days and remembered some of the amusement arcades that were still alive and well whilst dozen more had long gone and told a different story though. It’s funny how the bloody tat shops were still alive and kicking!

A sunny view of Scarborough harbour and lighthouse

When we returned back to the bikes 2 hours later we split into two groups and went our separate ways, four of us headed inland toward Pickering and Helmsley along some fine familiar swift roads, our speed tempered by warning signs and the presence of police on this hot summer Sunday cloaked or otherwise!

Barry and Geoff found an empty few miles and blew the cobwebs away whilst we stayed with Mick and brought up the rear. We were all having some good clean fun.

 We came upon an accident before too long just a few miles from Helmsley, it happened at a crossroads at the bottom of a rise and on a slight bend, police were there in numbers  an Air Ambulance sat in the nearby field, two motorbikes appeared to have been involved with one or more cars I’m not too sure how many, the fact that it happened at a crossroads suggests perhaps a car had pulled into the path of one or both of the bikes, I have no idea as to the condition of the people involved, there was enough help there already and the police waived us through. Ten minutes later we were in Helmsley and soon amongst the Sunday bikers licking ice creams sitting in the shade at the monument. Seeing a motorbike crash always makes one a bit quiet as one ponders the whys and wherefores, like one of us said, “We know what we do can be dangerous, we expect drivers not to look or think about bikes, so why the hell aren’t we LOOKING out for them”??  

It was late afternoon now and Julie and I split from our small group at the top of Helmsley, they headed toward Sutton bank, Thirsk and the A1 whilst we squirreled down the lovely B1257 taking in sleeping Hoveringham, Sheriff Hutton and Flaxton before joining the A64 for a few miles before turning off towards Selby, Snaith, Thorne and home to Hatfield, the sun was still glowing hot as we climbed off and pushed the now dusty bike into the garage, it had been a great day out to nowhere in particular, seeing friends old and new was always a pleasure, I didn’t take the camera as I wasn’t expecting anyone but I’m sure you get the picture by now eh?

I’ll be taking it on the Matlock trip so be sure to have on your best bib and tucker on! A big thank you to Mick for the two photos I have recently added to the story, I owe you a sticky bun my friend!

 Tilateronthen………………The Scribe

    
Today for us started at 07.30 as we mounted our shiny black 1800, we plugged in the intercom, I looked at the sky and didn’t trust what I was seeing to be honest. It promised rainy periods but instead it was strangely sunny and fringed with huge white clouds that moved along slowly, blown by a slight wind. No matter I thought, we have the wet gear in the back just in case. It took us less than an hour on quiet roads to get to Ripon, where we topped up after the sixty mile gallop from Doncaster. We now waited for fellow winger’s to arrive, Julie lit one up and meandered around the market square, I kept a suspicious eye on the white clouds moving along high above us, presently Deryck and Jan fromYork  arrived on their recent buy, a Honda Goldwing 1800 in a rich deep blue, and looking quite smart too. We exchanged greetings and checked the time; it was 08.30 hrs Sunday on the 10th of May 2009, high time to find a road to play on as Barry says. Julie climbed back on and we set off towards Skipton and to meet up with the rest of the Saga louts!

The Yokshire Dales, bathed in glorious sunshine

I let Mistress Garmin lead the way and she promptly led us the pretty way towards Pateley Bridge, Greenhow Hill and Grassington along the splendid  twisting turning B6265 and NOT down the fast straight A61/A59 as she was supposed to do! Oh bother we are going to be a bit late, no problem as Julie sent Barry a text awkwardly from the rear. As we bobbed along the pleasant small twisting roads Deryck got slower and slower, I slowed too, remembering that they had only owned the wing a few weeks I tried to think ahead, perhaps Skipton would not be the target now as time was against us. We will head in the direction of Kettlewell, perhaps Settle would be the new interception point. The problem was Jan, she was feeling ill and Deryck was trying to make it a smoother journey, meanwhile I was trying to coax him along a bit faster to catch the group! We stopped a while at Kettlewell to see if her tummy would settle. Unfortunately Jan had rushed her illness as she wanted so much to come along today but her tummy disagreed so they made a decision to go home back to York. I tried to ring Barry but couldn’t get a mobile signal here in Kettlewell. Drat and double bollox! Some appropriate pit language was directed at the piece of Nokia junk in my hand. For F***S SAKE! Will nothing go my way this morning?  Another text was despatched and I composed myself before plugging in. I told myself we were going in the same direction just at a slower pace and fifteen miles to the north of everyone else. I intended to rectify that now!
Julie velcroed her bum to the seat, I grinned a tad more and doubled back a mile to the fun run over to Arncliffe and past the cold and still Tarn of Malham, it’s a lovely run and devoid of cars and tourists it allowed me to make swift progress hollering “MINT! MINT! MINT!”  Sending the sleepy sheep scurrying off the road out of harm’s way. We dropped down the side of the hills into Settle finally joining the A65. We surged forward winging it fast up to Kirby Lonsdale, we sat behind a fast BMW tourer and enjoyed the swift transit towards the M6 nipping in and out of slow dreary Sunday traffic. This was tons better than sitting around indoors. My heart was pumping and my senses sharpened as we cut through the traffic, many of the cars pulled across to let us through, very VERY considerate drivers this morning I thought, we waived our thanks as we both passed, the Beemer pulled off at Devils Bridge and we waived to each other.  Right now on towards the motorway, We stopped to fuel up before entering the M6 and rang Barry, Tina answered that they were moving along somewhere ahead of us, I couldn’t hear where because the signal was breaking, I presumed we were not that far behind and piled on the coals as soon as we hit the M6  northwards.
After about twenty minutes as the motorway curved down and left I saw several thick black dots about a mile in the distance. “Aha there they are!” I called to Julie, the sun was now as high as my spirits, the M6 was sparse in traffic it was warming up and the clouds left us alone, the group were just minutes away now. As we closed I called out on the CB. Barry replied “What kept you?” More pit language emanated from me as I slotted into my spot at the back door. “All together at the back!” I called. Just then a huge yellow search and rescue helicopter swooped at us low and fast from the right, he passed over us. This scored a line underneath the end of “The tale of the missing man” (me).
The grey hazy clouds away in the east meant rain, lots of it, at one point it looked like a volcanic eruption, billowing along the skyline, the clouds and hills merged at one point. It appears our Lord God Honda had done a deal with Paul the Weatherman today and was keeping us dry! We pulled into the next filling station for fuel, water and munchies; we kissed familiar faces and greeted new ones. So, you ask who were the “Appy Wanderers” today then?
First we have Blake obviously a male model, he was tall, dark and handsome damn him! 

Blake, the male model

His girl Paula grinned hugely from behind dark glasses, they hailed from the direction of Leeds on their plain silver 1800, next to them Tony and his lover from my home town Wakefield on a black 1800,

Alan and Chris with their 1800 trike

Alan and Chris nodded as they sat nearby on their 1800 grey trike. Ian and Adrianne on the blue mature 1500 breadvan, along with “The Bunny People” on theirs, they were the only 1500s with us today. Geoff and Chris on their glowing golden 1800 made this their second Sunday out with us, Geoff is quite old but fun to be around, wife Chris is nice and a lot younger. Michelle was feeling a lot better today her flu passed onto someone else, hubbi Tom “Scooter boy” sat provocatively on his chromed, shiny new black 1800, he looked splendid in camo scooter gear and Darth Vadar lid,

Tom AKA Darth Vadar AKA Scooterboy

Michelle minus the flu

no wonder our Barry fancies him. Elaine and Russ were here with their proper bike, a dark red 1800, their original breadvan no longer their chariot of choice. Derek and Heather stood at the end leaning on their red 1800 grinning from ear to ear as insults passed between Barry and me as per usual. Oh yes and Tina came too! Looking lovely as usual with her bright silver Martians helmet firmly nailed to her head “to keep the wind out” she always says. All the same I’d like to see here trying to turn around in the loo! I just hope the operation to remove the little lump from her knee, would also cure her of her swinging box problem?

Im STILL not satisfied Tina tells Elaine!

Everyone looked happy and sounded full of beans; we were all up for it and looking forward to the rideout, so glad to be outdoors letting the wind and sun play over us and not sitting indoors painting, watching TV or discussing the price of fish with a show of hands! We were soon to gel into a group of friends quickly becoming “Appy Wanderers” with no rules or membership criteria in site!
Barry calls time on us and we don helmets and hop over for fuel before heading off north towards Carlisle on the M6, once there we turned off and headed east towards the Northumberland National Park, skirting along the edge of it as bustling white clouds gathered away to the right making the skyline quite spectacular, the gray cold hazy wet stuff nowhere in sight for the moment. Barry took a detour as he and Mistress Garmin argue! I know exactly how he feels; I suspect more and more people do these days eh? Nobody moans, Mistress Garmin is both brilliant and fallible but needs to be kept in check. We pulled into Birdoswald for a tea stop and a bum scratch. It’s a really well maintained place to visit, hot food and drink can be purchased, there’s lots of information and it’s a visually stimulating place, I’m told it is one of the World Heritage Sites. Its in the grounds of ruins once belonging to those Italian sandaled skirt wearing warriors of long ago. In spite of that we have a lot to thank the Romans for…oh aye, and a ruddy great wall to keep those uncouth skirt wearing savages from up north out. I guess the English public wasn’t ready for too many blokes in skirts in those early days.

Bring on the boys and their skirts!

We sat in a nice sun trap drinking tea and telling stories, Adrianne stroked her flask as she recounted a tale or two! The cameras came out, Ian and Russ clicked away, as we larked around.

3 "Romans" arrive on the scene

We strolled back to the bikes as a group of tourists got back onto their coach having swarmed over our bikes earlier taking dozens of photos. A crowd of sheep slowly made their way along the road so we waited a while, two pocket rockets took one look at the blockage and decided to sit it out with us, the two young lads looked us over and marvelled at all the bloody buttons we had at our disposal, Tom still marvels at this too! Whereas old Geoff has progressed a bit and ties a bit of string to the most important knobs, I just twiddle all of them until I get the desired effect whilst trying not to look too puzzled, I still can’t find the reclining back rest knob yet though.
The sheep had gone now so off we went along the super straight roller coasting B6318, up and down we went as rise turned to dip for the next few miles. Northumberland looks beautiful in the bright sunshine, rolling hills and the remains of Hadrian’s wall away to our left, stayed with us for miles,

Geoff and Chris wave and ride at the same time

we soon came across THE tree, did you see it guys? It’s famous in the opening scene to Robin Hood Prince of Thieves (Kevin Costner’s true version) where he and Morgan Freeman saved a thieving little English oik from meeting his maker at the hands of the Sheriffs men, do you remember?
We turned away south a few miles ahead and neared Langley Castle as we met yet another crowd of sheep on our road, again we stopped a few minutes, two minutes later we arrived at our destination Langley Castle for tea and scones. The castle looked a wonderful sight as we drove uphill along the swish drive before parking just outside the huge wooden vestibule. Everyone probably felt as Barry and I felt when we first arrived here a while ago, it’s really nice knowing everyone is in for a nice surprise as they surley were. It was nearly 14.00hrs and the sun made it all a breathtaking sight, much better here than at a regional meeting for sure!
Langley Castle is now owned and been renovated and furnished by an American, he (unusually) didn’t take it home to Texas, instead he has refurbished it in keeping with the period, they are improving other parts as we speak and can be viewed on FACEBOOK if you care to search and look. It’s hired it out for weddings, functions and promotions, you can also spend a few nights there if you have a bottomless wallet!
Langley Castle was built in 1350 and passed through the gentry several times, the last owners losing their heads in the Jackobite uprising.  The castle then passed into the hands of the British Admiralty for a while would you believe? It was rebuilt in the late 1800s by a local historian and his wife; they now lay peacefully in the castle grounds.
We poured into the second floor depositing bike gear, we sank into huge lavish seats, all the walls were adorned with huge carpets, and big paintings, suits of armour flanked the doors and the fireplace was so big you could easily park a Harley in it (and burn it).

Lord Blake of Leeds with some of his ladies

Blake chose a Kingly wooden throne, with delicate carvings, some of the ladies flocked around and posed for photographs and strangely Blake didn’t look out of place, (male model?). A visit to the roof top chapel and the stunning views was offered by the staff, what a glorious day to go upstairs for the magnificent views. Having previously been on the roof Julie and I decided to sit outside on the lawn and soaked up the sun. Eventually everyone came together again and posed by their bikes in a long line with the castle as the backdrop.

Appy Wanderers at Langley Castle

we really enjoyed ourselves, photos done we gathered ourselves for our next leg of the ride.
We next headed towards Allendale along the ridge line, above the river we rode passing through the funny sounding places of Dirt Pot and Allenheads.

Dancing in the sunshine on fine Northumberland roads

We passed by disused slate workings and some magnificent slate gray dwellings etched in the high hillside to our left, what great views they must have had. Finally we crossed the river and headed southward towards Barnard Castle.  The rain clouds now sat in front of us a dozen or so miles away, the temperature dropped and the roads turned wet, we could see the heavy showers drenching the fields to the left and right of us. Luckily we turned away and passed through a damp Barnard Castle, turning right after the bridge and lights heading towards Tan Hill.  We passed through a known “Killing Ground”, on a previous ride one of us managed to kill an innocent pheasant that was at the side of the road minding its own business, the first we all knew about it was when we rode through a hail of bloodied feathers! We might not know who killed cock robin but we know who killed the poor bloody pheasant, right Barry? The weather looked kindly on us again and turned warm the sun returned and evaporated the damp roads.
We rode over some interesting little roads at a steady pace nearing Tan Hill. Another turn ahead though and we headed toward the CB Public House where we pulled over into the car park for the last refreshments of the day. Tina used the loos noting its particulars for her book, some went for a cuppa or a half shandy, others stood around wondering just where the hell they were.

Big Derek ponder on his whereabouts

It really is beautiful around these parts but not many maps show such small detail except for the nearby village of Reeth,

The CB public house near Tan Hill

Brent and some of his ladies tried to find it on a normal map but couldn’t. Leyburn was our final destination as a group and just a short ride away, we parked up for five minutes in Leyburn square on the cobbles, this time Michelle went to the loo, I saw her convey the information to Tina.  We said our goodbyes to each other before parting company. I for one felt enriched by another fantastic day on the bike meeting more nice people and seeing old friends again. We patted, prodded and kissed goodbye, promising to meet up again soon.  Some headed off toward Harrogate for a meal, others headed home to Leeds, others to Keighley, Julie and I turned east to hit the A1 at Leeming Bar before heading south to Doncaster an hour away.
There was a warm glow in the early evening air as we went about our way in peace and quiet, no chit chat on the CB, just the pair of us reflecting quietly on the day. We were to complete 350 miles including our early morning detour by the time we got home. The sky now began to change as the weather front high above drew a definite line in the sky, it was clear blue to the north, from the south stretched a thick dark blue blanket of cloud which hung from east to west as far as the eye could see, almost like a stage curtain closing down the day, the longest day.
Tilateronthen
                          The Scribe.